I recently became a Swiftie, and I’m sure like a lot of other Swifties, I won’t shut the fuck up about her. She (and her music) truly lives rent free in my head. So, understandably, my wife is a little annoyed. So on Friday night, she started a timer and told me she wanted to see how long I could go without mentioning her. It started out annoying because I kept thinking of things that I wanted to say, like references to her lyrics, but I couldn’t. For example:

  • Her 9 year old cousin started off a sentence with “I, I, I” as if she didn’t know how to continue her sentence and my mind went “see how this is gonna go”

  • Later, her cousin said she wanted to “cry in the back of the car” because the baseball team we were watching lost, and my mind started singing the lyrics to both Cruel Summer and Getaway Car

  • My wife said something about how in her “wildest dreams” she wouldn’t imagine something happening

  • Later, she said “we aren’t out of the woods yet” in terms of it not raining

But then I started turning it back on her. She says that I take things too literally sometimes (I am neurodivergent, which is probably fueling my obsession), so I used that against her. She said I couldn’t mention Taylor Swift, but she never said I couldn’t use common phrases that appear in Taylor’s song titles and lyrics, so I started using them in every day speech. Some examples:

  • Saying “Hey babe, ‘I don’t know about you…’” waiting for her to gasp, and then saying “I am not really hungry enough to eat a full dinner”

  • Drinking some lavender lemonade and saying it “tasted ‘hazy’”

  • She was hangry for a little bit and said that she was fine, so I said “you’re OK but you’re not fine at all” (this one was probably not a good idea to say but I couldn’t resist XD)

  • Mentioning that I hope someone receives “Karma” for being a douchebag on the road

I also wore my Taylor Swift shirt and told her I didn’t mention her so she had to keep the timer going. The other thing I did was argue that if one of her songs came on during a full library shuffle, that it didn’t count either, because I didn’t specifically pick the song to play.

I ended up screwing up after 39:45:47 bc Love Story and then I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys came on during a car ride and we sang along to both, and afterwards I said “If you would have told me two years ago that I’d be singing Love Story and IWITW in the car I’d have laughed in your face” which counted because I named one of her song titles.

The whole thing was annoying at first but then became kinda fun lol.