I mean, that logic got Brock Allen Turner, the rapist who now goes by Allen Turner, off the hook. I guess it’s worth a shot.
You mean Brock Turner the rapist who now goes by Allen Turner the rapist? That Brock Turner the rapist?
Well HE doesn’t go by Brock Turner the rapist. He certainly wishes we’d stop calling him Brock Turner the rapist. But we’ll never stop calling him Brock Turner the rapist, because Brock Turner the rapist is a rapist.
If we had to stop calling him something, we’d stop calling him Brock Turner before we stopped calling him the rapist.
Because Brock Turner the rapist deserves to be remembered as a rapist, and nothing more
Derek Chauvin would also like a word.
Yeah? Well George Floyd would like to breathe.
So going forward, I should keep my crimes under half an hour and it’s fine. Good to know.
Keep it under 27 minutes just to be on the safe side
Is it total minutes or consecutive?
Either, just to be safe.
I wouldn’t go on a 30-minute crime spree yet, there might be a better deal soon.
Trump says he’s going to be a one-day dictator if elected. If he gets his way and does not get punished afterwards, we have a strong legal precedent that everyone gets their personal Purge once in their lifetime.
“I only murdered for a minute, tops!”
“it would have been quicker too had the victim not resisted so much.”
Thats why the cops yell at you to stop resisting after they shoot you.
(This joke got dark)
Joke? I am pretty sure that is s.o.p.
“I only shot that guy for 0.6 seconds!”
Can you imagine that defence for other crimes
You’re honour my client should be released because he was only a bank robber for 2 minutes while in the bank. And as for being a conspirator he didn’t do much talking.
Your honour my client was only a “rapist” while attacking Miss Sonso and that only lasted 5 minutes. Prior to that he was merely a pedestrian as he followed her. An innocent citizen
Unfortunately that defense did seem to work out fine for rapist Brock Allen Turner.
Light treason
There’s a good chance
NO TOUCHING!
So, that’s a guilty plea?
Only a little light treason.
With a sliver of sedition
You’re going to have to make gif noises and pretend.
How do you pronounce gif noises?
It’s pronounced the same way it’s written
Well if he only committed treason for 26 minutes, how about 25 minutes in front of a firing squad?
Crimes are billed by the hour.
Well that’s all right then!
26 is all it required for him to set things in motion.
“Your honor, my client only raped her for 3 minutes.”
“Your honor, my client was only murdering him for 4 minutes.”
“Your honor, my client was only driving under the influence for 10 minutes.”
“Your honor, my client only robbed the bank of $4000.”
That’s an eternity for an android
Donny would need little makeup to be a fantastic Borg Queen.
