So this story starts way back in January 2024, when I start my first semester of a state university in a liberal US state, all set to do HRT at their on-site endocrinologist. I get as far as the paperwork and certain aspects lead me to chicken out. During the visit and all further ones, I’m consistently misgendered by everyone there. Oh and I had one fucknugget of a time trying to explain to the people there that I am most certainly not a trans girl.
Just because I’m going on HRT (well, after two months of brooding, I’m opting for synthetic options which are surprisingly available at the clinic, so here we go) does NOT mean I’m a trans girl. I’m still nonbinary. But try telling THAT to my endocrinologist, who once attempted to give a transmasc-adjacent nonbinary person unwanted estrogen. Yeah, that’s a fucking yikes right there.
I’ve been callying myself enby transfem, because I struggle to relate to gender in general, am amab, much more strongly identify with fem gender roles, especially relating to other people, and am really enjoying a more fem presentation. I’m not sure I’m a full on woman but definitely not cis. I find it a convenient labeling for getting the jist across. However, I can easily see someone amab who just wants to present androgynously, not relating with femininity, taking medical steps to present that way and not calling themselves transfem. Ofc that example isn’t, like, the only valid case or anything, just what pops into my head when I think about this kind of thing because I know someone exactly like that, just afab instead of amab.
I’m an intersex enby who seeks more androgyny than I have.