It’s like a defense mechanism for me. Imagine you are always an outsider and you see that people who are insiders get treated super badly at some point just for not looking “perfect”. You start to be cautious about what you wear and how you look, because you need all the tricks you can get to finally fit in. You want friends to, maybe even find love. Everything social in your life might depend on it and who are you to doom yourself. What, you still haven’t done it? Look how easy all of them do it, but you are still just trying? Well it can’t be everyone else can it? There must be something more, maybe you’re not trying hard enough. Maybe you are just too dumb to really try, maybe your stupid body is just too misshapen to get comfortable. Maybe it’s you. You are the problem.

Anyway, there’s some context. Oh and also if you throw body dysmorphia in the mix the thoughts sound even more crazy.

Oh also for anyone wondering, I don’t have it as much so don’t worry about me, but I have this just a little bit so I can at least feel how other people hone in on this stuff.