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It is hard to imagine that there was not someone inside of Nike that lost their faith in humanity when the pitch for these things was originally taking off.
Isn’t the point of self-lacing shoes that they shouldn’t require manual user input at all? What is the app for then?
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That’s what my shoes were missing: spyware!
Oh god! The Chinese know how tight my shoes are? They could overthrow the entire globe with such devastating info!
It’s adorable you think “shoelace tightness” is all that app has awareness of.
I don’t know why my first thought from this was Ruth Gator Binsburg. Now I just want something like a shitty_watercolor of that.