• Obinice@lemmy.world
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        5 months ago

        I often spend my time on Lemmy/Reddit feeling and acting bitter and dumb, I’m so angry at myself for this illness and how I’ve ruined my own life because of it, and I’m angry at the world for all the cruel people and systems causing us to suffer, holding us down, dooming us,

        and I do want to be better, kinder, I just don’t have any hope and nowhere to put all this anger and hopelessness and misery, and I can’t afford ADHD treatment so…yeah. I’m not proud of my little vice/outlet, I suppose.

        Anyway my point is, you’ve been lovely to talk to, thank you for reminding me that some people are genuinely lovely. I most certainly don’t deserve it, haha.

        Anyway, from here in Manchester England, have a grand day 👋

        • ghost_towels
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          5 months ago

          Hey! Sorry I didn’t respond sooner, many guests arrived. Awesome playlist! So far every track has been gold. The teenagers love it lol. Many thanks.

          Number one, don’t feel guilty about spending time here. You can make it what you want and be a force of good and change or, not. We all need a bit of escape sometimes and I know I am very susceptible to doom scrolling to avoid work/sleep/life in general. But I try to keep my feed as positive as I can while still being informed of what’s going on in the world. That’s a tough line sometimes 🙄. I get not having any hope, it’s just hard, so hard, right now. So much change and uncertainty in the air and no outlet for the stress. Go walk, get outside, exercise is a huge part of adhd management.

          I don’t know your situation and how you’ve ruined your life, but I hope you have someone to talk to. Maybe it’s not as bad as your spinning mind is making it? I get into a spiral real easy, so I know how that can go! Have you been diagnosed with adhd? I took a quick look to see if there are any assistance programs for medication, didn’t find anything right away but I’d look into that. Here in BC there is a program that helps pay for it. I was only diagnosed last September in my mid forty’s and medication has saved my life. I have a brain again! Tbh, I almost didn’t make it, my daughter kept me going, I couldn’t bear to never see her again. It has been a long journey to get to this place and now I can see the future again with joy. It’s worth exploring all the avenues to keep in that direction. I unfortunately don’t know the uk health system so can’t offer too much advice. Only that nowadays you have to be your own advocate.

          The main thing I want to say is don’t beat yourself up. You’re struggling and most definitely deserve some grace and care, shit is hard right now. One step at a time. Message me if you need a chat or a pep talk! Cheers from the Gulf Islands of BC and have a kick ass day!