• NegativeInf@lemmy.world
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      4 months ago

      It’s Greg Abbott. He’s crooked AF.

      Wanna hear a fun story?

      He’s in that wheelchair because a neighbor’s tree had a limb fall on him in '89. He sued and has gotten over 8.9 million dollars out of the deal. After he gained a position in the Texas government, he passed tort reform laws in Texas that capped everyone else’s max payout to 250,000. He’s the definition of a “Fuck you, I got mine.” Republican.

      He’s my governor. But I sure as hell haven’t voted for him.

      I hope his caretaker forgets to lock his wheels and he rolls off a stage, down the street, and into a fire caused by CenterPoint’s lack of vegetative maintenance.

      • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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        4 months ago

        He’s my governor. But I sure as hell haven’t voted for him.

        You’re welcome to come up here. We love our governor. enough that we might abduct him to keep him from being VP. (it’s okay. peggy gonna be great too.)

        I hope his caretaker forgets to lock his wheels and he rolls off a stage, down the street, and into a fire caused by CenterPoint’s lack of vegetative maintenance.

        It’s funny. I’ve always heard getting struck by lightning as being described as an act of god. Which really just makes me wonder… would the Secret Service or FBI notice that giant tesla coil left randomly on stage?

        • NegativeInf@lemmy.world
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          4 months ago

          Look, if you want lightning I’ve got a model rocket, a guide wire, and a weather tracker.

          Just tell me where you want your act of god and I’ll get it all squared away.

          • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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            4 months ago

            Tbh, it’s not even that much of a sacrifice. I honestly believe Peggy (our alt gov, for those wondering,) will be just as good.

            But seriously. It’s like sharing ice cream. I’ll share because it’s the right thing, and I’ll even say I’m happy to. Im not being entirely honest though.

            He’s that good. And so was Izzy’s Swedish garden party.

  • aaron@lemm.ee
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    4 months ago

    2026 headline: “Greg Abbott resigns after admitting to killing many young babies and having sex with his mother”

  • Media Bias Fact Checker@lemmy.worldB
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    4 months ago
    Mediaite - News Source Context (Click to view Full Report)

    Information for Mediaite:

    MBFC: Left - Credibility: High - Factual Reporting: Mostly Factual - United States of America
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    Search topics on Ground.News

    https://www.mediaite.com/news/pro-trump-gov-says-democrats-have-zeal-to-kill-young-babies-after-cnns-jake-tapper-confronts-him-over-abortion-ban/

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