i hope that in the next life I am not like this. I just wish I could go back and redo everything without being severely mentally ill. I spend every day in the dark lamenting and wishing I could just go back in time. I think about ending it so often. I just want a chance to redo and be normal so badly. the craziest part is that physically, everything in my life is fine. I have a roof over my head and food to eat. but my brain just focuses on the negatives so much. it makes me feel even worse, I just wish so bad I could redo my life without feeling like this.
It’s a gamble. And reincarnation is a dreamy concept, but it’s a human invention. Impossible to prove.
Your best bet while you’re here is to steal a scrap of enjoyment. Pick up some litter. Negotiate an intergalactic armistice.
Learn to juggle with overripe fruit. Sing off-key while walking through a crowded street. Have a tea party with your houseplants. Send a postcard to a random address. Write a love letter to a squirrel. Whisper secrets to the wind. Walk backwards for an entire block. Paint your nails a different color on each finger. Bake cookies at 3 a.m. just because. Tell your reflection a joke in the mirror. Make a playlist of only guilty pleasure songs. Read aloud to your favorite mug. Ask a stranger for a book recommendation. Draw a face on the back of your hand and give it a name. Write a poem in chalk on the sidewalk. Spend an afternoon folding paper cranes. Make a new constellation out of the freckles on your arm. Celebrate a holiday you just made up. Leave a compliment on a bathroom mirror. Apologize to a fly for swatting at it. Invent a new sandwich, give it an absurd name, and claim it’s the next big food trend. Light a candle in the middle of the day just to see it flicker. Buy an item at the grocery store based solely on the packaging. Spin around until you’re dizzy, then sit and stare at the sky. Plant a seed in an empty eggshell and watch it grow. Write a letter to your future self on a napkin. Name your socks. Eat dessert before dinner. Pick a favorite cloud in the sky. Send an email to yourself with a subject line that makes you smile. Build a pillow fort and hold a meeting inside. Name a star after something ridiculous, like “Sir Fluffernut.”
But wear sunscreen
Not I. I don’t want to get on this ride again. It sucks.
Only thing that keeps me going is spite these days.
I hope reincarnation is real because maybe in a past life I experienced all the dead cultures I mourn
Same, but rather for the physical aspects of it. I’m tired of the pain.
I hope it’s real and not just limited to Earth so my next life can be on a better planet.