All of my IRL friendships are based around activities - we play games together, we volunteer together, etc. When someone moves away and we try to keep the friendship going, it always just sputters out after a few weeks or months. It just seems to devolve into small-talk / catch-ups that neither of us are really interested in (I don’t mind small-talk too much, but it can’t be 100% of any meaningful relationship).

So: What is the point of a long-distance friendship for two people who have no plans to live locally again? What am I missing?

EDIT: I have close conversations in person that are deep and meaningful, just very rarely over text. Maybe I ought to phone or video call once in a while…

  • Worx@lemmynsfw.comOPEnglish
    4·
    2 months ago

    Thanks for the input. I do have closer friendships in person, but once we move apart (geographically) it just sort of… fades. Based on these replies, I think I’m just not very good at talking over text

    • jbrains
      3·
      2 months ago

      I understand better. I might relate, too.

      I’m not the type to keep relationships “alive” by checking in, but at the same time, when someone re-enters my life after even years, it can be as though no time had passed. If I can help, I will. We can chat for minutes or hours. I’m happy to pick up where we left off.

      I have the distinct impression that many other people don’t operate this way. I do. Do you?

      • Worx@lemmynsfw.comOPEnglish
        2·
        2 months ago

        Yes, that sounds like me. I’ve only really had it happen twice where people have come back into my life, but one of them is now my best friend again after I didn’t see or talk to them for years. The other example moved away for about eight years and although we were close (before or after) we did just carry on the same relationship we had before.

        • jbrains
          2·
          2 months ago

          In that case, I’m not sure you’re missing anything and I’m not even sure you have a problem to solve here.