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You can’t eat the marbles.
the onion has been on fire recently.
Stop giving him ideas
Dammit, The Onion got me again. These headlines lately are too believable.
Not because they became more plausible. It’s because reality became dumber.
This seems less crazy than the things he’ll actually say
I believed it at first
The onion should really start hiring like crazy. They’re about to start getting so much material that their staff will be totally overwhelmed.
Satire is dead.
Well it would be bad if we began eating soap. Right?
Better than bleach… Right?
But if you only eat poison, the brain worms will starve
