Not talking suicide. But, I mean more like an age where you know you won’t be dating anybody and that you don’t care if you let some of your health slide. Get a little chubby, drink some beers that you never did before, smoke like you never did before when you spent years avoiding the stuff when you were younger.
Stuff like that. I think I might get into smoking when I’m more into my 40s or something. I don’t care, life would’ve long pass me by then, it isn’t like I’m going to be a successful individual at 55 or something.
Few people at 45 feel like they’re ancient and just need to hurry up and die, OP. Hell, actual seniors think of that as young and virile.
That aside, I’ve given up on having a proper career at this point. I’m not sure how much I want to go into what happened on my main, but I was pretty much obsessed with making a modest legacy in high school, and I fully expect to just hustle to survive now.