I’m a bit lost here, to be fair. I went full no contact with my family back when I was 16. Took a hike, even across countries. So, apparently what happened, was my ex brother in law not keeping his mouth shut and sharing my number with my family. I still can’t make heads or tails of it. But now my dad wants to be real chummy and friendy with me? Fuck that, honestly. I’m not super mad at him, more at the rest of my family, but it seriously hurts right now. What am I supposed to do? I’m at a loss here. Haven’t really talked to the person for over 21 years.

  • stinky@redlemmy.com
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    1 day ago

    If OP has made it clear he doesn’t want someone around, and they violate it by sharing phone numbers and sending texts and trying to get back in, then the family isn’t respecting boundaries and is probably why they got cut off in the first place.

    Going no contact is often a last resort after a lifetime of pain. It’s nothing something people do casually.

    • state_electrician@discuss.tchncs.de
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      1 hour ago

      Meh, that is a bit extreme without knowing anything about the history. OP even said they’re not really angry with their father. I think it’s fair to reach out after over 20 years. If OP still wants no contact, they can communicate this and if their father doesn’t respect that, then I’d say you have a valid point.

    • CaptObvious@literature.cafe
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      12 hours ago

      With respect, 16 year old brains are not physically developed enough to make that decision. It’s why we don’t let them vote.

      Things may look different today. I stand by my suggestion.

      • stinky@redlemmy.com
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        9 hours ago

        anyone who’s been abused as a teenager could tell your differently. your advice is wrong, sorry.

          • stinky@redlemmy.com
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            4 hours ago

            Entitled is an ironic choice of words for someone who’s never been abused and says teenage abuse victims aren’t “developed enough” to go no-contact with their abuser. Foolish human. If you respond I’ll block you instantly without reading it to verify that you’ve read and understood my comment.

        • CTDummy@lemm.ee
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          9 hours ago

          Yeah the guy isn’t a stranger to L takes. “Maybe cut the guy some slack” pfffft. Abused or neglected at 16? Nah you’re too young to know that apparently.