WASHINGTON—As part of an effort to ensure the benefits were only allocated to those in “true need,” a new federal law went into effect Thursday requiring all Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program recipients to balance food on their nose until they receive the command to eat it. “There’s no reason why working-age, able-bodied food stamp recipients can’t show us that they’re very good boys,” said House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-LA), who demonstrated how the new SNAP requirement would work by carefully placing a block of cheddar cheese onto a constituent’s nose before backing away and holding out an open palm. “For far too long, the welfare system has been abused by SNAP recipients not willing to wait, wait. We want to see nice SNAP recipients, obedient SNAP recipients. Only then can they get their treat.” At press time, sources confirmed more than an hour had passed and Johnson still hadn’t given his constituent the command.
  • sp3ctr4l@lemmy.zipEnglish
    16·
    15 days ago

    Yay! My meagre disability income is just barely above the threshold to qualify for SNAP.

    You see, the calculations that are done for SNAP eligibility include the amount of my SSDI that goes toward my Medicare premium as part of my income.

    Even though I literally never see that money come into my bank account, and thus is not considered income for the purposes of my credit score, or applying to rent an apartment.

    Oh but there are Medicare Savings Programs to help with that!

    Nope, they count the Medicare premium as income too, don’t qualify.

    … If SNAP and MSP did not count my automatically deducted Medicare premium as income, I would qualify for both.

    If apartments did count my automatically deducted Medicare premium as income, I could rent a modest studio apartment, instead of a room in a literal roach motel that went out of business and is under new management as an ‘apartment’ with absolutely no renovation whatsoever.

    (And because I am under 60/65 and disabled, basically nowhere that bills itself as an apartment for disabled folks will consider me. I’m under 60/65, I don’t qualify.

    And do not even get me started on Section 8)

    … I suppose it is technically possible to renounce Medicare coverage… as a disabled person… and thus basically never be elligible for it or any other kind of health insurance ever again.

    Goooood Bless America

  • LovableSidekick@lemmy.worldEnglish
    11·
    15 days ago

    If you read the Bible carefully, Jesus did the same thing with the loaves and fishes - a true fact liberals don’t want you to know!!

  • Rusty@lemmy.caEnglish
    6·
    15 days ago

    At first I thought it was about a controversial Linux packaging system and it made sense.