Latest hits: if gender is performative that means it’s fake and patriarchy doesn’t exist! I don’t know who Judith Butler is!

  • AItoothbrush@lemmy.zip
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    4 days ago

    Im a cis person(tho probably not the kind you meant) and i think talking about gender is pretty tiring. I think everyone has their biases and everything but you can make yourself a good person by trying to understand why you have those biasesa at least. And also gender is a prettt complex thing.

    • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
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      4 days ago

      If you’re being open minded and respectful even if you don’t understand something (or disengaging if you can’t) then probably 99% of trans people, myself included, aren’t going to have any issue with your questions or contributions to discussions about gender

      It’s the (usually cis) people who are at Gender 101 level engagement, think they’re at Gender 501 level engagement, and also want to understand and learn nothing who make this so goddamn tiring 🥲

      • TheFriar@lemm.ee
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        3 days ago

        lol no disrespect, but you did just say “be open minded and respectful” after posting a meme equating all cis people to idiot babies

        • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
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          3 days ago

          Yes, you (general you) as a cis person should be open minded and respectful about trans people, because you don’t know shit about what it’s like to be trans.

          • TheFriar@lemm.ee
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            3 days ago

            But…my point was you can’t say “be open minded and respectful, you dumb, nothing-going-on-upstairs idiot toddler.”

            Do unto others, friend. That’s my point. Be respectful, don’t talk down to people and maybe you’ll be able to find that large swath of allies available to you. Because they do exist. But not if you actively repel them. Example: you’re in 196.blahaj and your attitude is not making you friends. You’re turning one of he most sympathetic, understanding spaces against you with your attitude. Seems like that might be your problem in the bigger picture, too. Learn from that.

            • Catoblepas@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
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              3 days ago

              “Be as respectful of my confident ignorance as you want me to be of your lived experience” isn’t what I fuck with, not sorry.

              PS; I literally can’t see downvotes and don’t care. Downvoting me is a pacification button on your end.

              • TheFriar@lemm.ee
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                2 days ago

                I’m…not the one downvoting you. You’re entirely missing the point. And entirely mischaracterizing me. I support you. I want to see you flourish and succeed. That’s what I’ve been saying. But you are shutting the door in everyone’s faces and saying “why doesn’t anyone want to be in this room with me?! They must be bigots!” No, you have to let people support you. You can’t turn everyone away and then blame them for not being on your side.

                And that’s not even people not being on your side! It’s that they personally don’t like you—no offense. It has nothing to do with your identity. But if your perception is bent through that particular lens, then you’re seeing a lack of people around you, specifically, as a lack of support for trans people. And that is not what’s happening.

                See what I’m saying?

      • Mr_Blott@feddit.uk
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        3 days ago

        Let’s be honest here, that’s a long way of saying “the vast majority of people couldn’t give a shit either way how I live my life but they just really really wish I’d stop talking about myself for a minute” 😂