How not just give up? There is nothing left, no viable career options, hobbies are pointless because there’s just no improvement past certain point anyway, no alleviation to the fucking constant hurt that’s AuDHD. And nobody gets it, nobody.
Any insight, other than “seek help”, would be welcome right about now.
This is false for two reasons. One, “hobbies” aren’t just for improvement. They’re for fun, to express yourself and make something you find valuable. And two, there is improvement if you tackle increasing challenges.
I guess I’m lucky because I’m obsessed with my personal projects. They give my life structure. I’m not getting any interviews, not making any money, but I’m motivated every day by the ambitious projects I work on.
When a Autistic person gets burn out is it common for hobbies to start to seem useless.
It’s not even really unique to Autistic people. Anyone who’s burnt out/depressed will feel that way.
Right, just turned up to 11.
Edit to expand: One of the hallmark traits of autism is one or more Special Interests. Yes, everyone has those too. Autism turns them up to 11. They are often an integral part of one’s routines. And/or an escape from them, especially when ADHD is added to the mix. If not tied up in one’s identity in addition.
When depression gets bad enough to derail Special Interests, it can be devastating. It’s not just run of the mill anhedonia. It’s a removal of an entire support structure. One or more pieces of you are just… gone. All the stuff related to the Special Interest is still there (possibly even being surrounded by it), but none of the engagement. Just constant reminders of the parts of you that broke.
Autistic burnout is a whole other can of worms. It goes over and above the colloquial meaning of burnout. A vacation won’t help. A job change won’t help. It goes deeper than any of that. Again, turned up to 11.
Once these things start piling up, it’s very difficult to do anything. To OP, I agree: nobody gets it. We exist in our own personal hells, and if we try to talk about it people will re-orient what we say into their own framework and start making false equivalencies. “Just do X.” It can be a good-natured attempt to understand, or a dismissive invalidation. Either way it gets exhausting.
OP, I don’t have any answers. I don’t know what the point is. If it wasn’t for my spouse I doubt I’d be here. I don’t fit. 40+ years of trying to be a square peg, scrambling to fill in all the corners on demand, has me drained. Nothing I do has ever been enough. I’m tired.
I wish you the best. Truly.
You nailed it. Now, with half a life-time of trauma, masking and dead-end jobs, it seems there’s no getting those interests back.
This right here. So tired of trying to talk to anyone not on the spectrum about it anymore.
Yeah, hanging on not to dissappoint loved ones, is how I’d put it. Feels all kinds of wrong.
Thanks, to you too.
That would be optimal, sure. The reality is, I’ll have good run learning something new, and at a certain level, just become so frustrated and burnt out, it’ll lose it’s appeal completely. Might return to it after years, only to repeat the cycle.