I went to a kids party in middle school. I was the only one to come. His parents gave me like $40 on my way out. As a kid I had no idea what the fuck was going on so I just took the money.

Doesn’t matter had cake.

“We need to talk. Your parents haven’t paid the friendship money yet. Now I’m not an unreasonable person but…”

Or he said it because he was done waiting for his next pay check.

massive, flashy, expensive birthday parties with hired entertainers and dozens of invitations

It just sounds like they invited their whole class. That’s dozens of invitations for sure but doesn’t really make it anything else.

Hired clowns or magicians aren’t really a thing outside of movies, afaik.

One or two big birthday parties growing up is pretty common. Not every year. I had one for my 16th.

Lots of cultures have big parties for specific birthday milestones, eg Bar Mitzvahs and Quinceañeras.

I (non-american but western country) had “large” parties way back in primary school (around 5 to 10 y.o.), because at that point everyone was just little kids and so there were no cliques or anything like that, so it would be impolite not to invite your whole class - but after that point no, it would usually be like 5 people at maximum for a bit of a chill hangout.

I am east asian, and I never had big birthday parties when I was a kid. Parents would give us a bit of money, I would have like four friends to hang out at a mall, watch a movie, and grab some dinner.

But there are kids who have big parties, but I feel like they are just cos-playing middle age asian male gatherings, large table, lazy susan, bunch of “friends” who don’t even talk that much, and toast here and there. Pretty ridiculous things to do for 10-15 years old.

My birthday has since went downhill, my parents are busy and I am busy, in high school I barely had cakes for birthday. But now I made sure to have a little cake for every birthday, so it is all good :)