I got kicked out of my house because my parents found out that I was questioning (I now think I’m bi). They gave me a couple minutes to gather my things and I was gone.
They blocked me and all of my friends have shunned me.
I later found a job thanks to the generous people here on lemmy who gave me some work clothes that I could interview in. My job starts in a bit over a week.
But holy shjt life is hard. Every single day I think about jumping into a car but now that I’ve resorted to begging for assistance online I feel as though I have to follow through. I feel like a piece of shit.
I only have one functioning arm and people look at me like a deformed freak every single fucking day. I don’t know why I was born bisexual or why I was born with a missing limb. I don’t know why I’m broke or why I always have to dig through the fucking trash to eat chewed up and spoiled food but I’m tired of living this way.
A homeless dude stabbed me in the arm and the police didn’t give a fuck. My work clothes are stained from the blood and sweat of other vagrants. I smell putrid. I feel disgusting. If I went to work in the state I am now I would be fired on the spot.
I’m so tired. I don’t even know how I’m going to scrounge the money to find something to eat. I dont want to eat loke a pig i want a solid meal. I need help People have given me money here on lemmy to get a new arm but I can’t spend that money on food when I need it for my prostgrtics
I fele like a piece of shiti tired to pay back the people who gave me money but they wouldn’t accept it. I’m sorry truly
Every single day I think about jumping into a car but now that I’ve resorted to begging for assistance online I feel as though I have to follow through.
You punch that feeling right in the face as if it were a neonazi! And if people cancel your debts you say thank you! and remember to pay it forward if ever your straits become less dire.
Now more than ever in my own life of 50+ years is it clear that we’re given no guarantees, no assurances. We’re children in the steerage of Titanic. Kids separated from families at the US-Mexico boarder. To the last of us, we’re in fate’s hands.
If you need to steal food, if you need to kill assailants, remember you were driven to this degree of desperation, and yeah, neither establishment systems nor do our ownership class masters care for your well being, even though you are still, by social contract, a part of this society – they broke the contract. Not you.
Do what is necessary without remorse today. Save your contrition for later.
Good luck, my friend.
(Yes, I am bitter and angry. Behold my fury.)
If you’re in the US, get a gym membership. Access to showers and stuff, relatively cheap.
Talk to business owners that sell food. Some suck but some will help happily if their business is such that they throw away stuff at close (bakeries).
Stop beating yourself up, you’re struggling enough.
You got this.
Damn I figured society was way way past kicking their kids out for being bi/gay. Even in deep-red country I don’t think there are many around here who would do such a thing. Trans is solidly still in that territory though for sure.
Sorry about your arm. Sorry about the police not caring. Sorry about others not caring. Especially if you’re a guy, that’s just how it be. Everyone wants to help women, but men are kind of left to their own devices. If we’re not producing for someone we’re considered worthless.
Do your best to get to a place in your country that has better options for you. I’ve lived in multiple places in the US being in poverty, and let me tell you - some states are WAY better than others for getting help.
jesus. life shouldn’t be that hard. I’m sorry your family are terrible people. ping me if you need someone to talk to. (if you’re in my area, might be able to offer some assistance)
You’re down right now, but you have to trust it’s not going to be this way forever and keep moving forward. I don’t don’t know where you’re at, but there are a lot of homeless service agencies out there doing work that could help you. Try reaching out to the United Way in your area for guidance. You can often call them at 211, or locate them here. Look for food banks, churches, or your local mental health authority (which varies a lot by state). If you share what region you’re in we might be able to give you more specific advice. Good luck to you brother
