Ah, the egg crisis—again. Remember when they blamed inflation on avocado toast and millennials? Now it’s bird flu and “supply chain disruptions.” Convenient how every corporate profit surge gets a fresh apocalyptic label. Remember 2020’s toilet paper panic? Same playbook: manufacture scarcity, hike prices, blame nature.
Your breakfast is now a speculative asset. Farmers cull flocks, execs cash in, and we’re left decoding USDA press releases like Talmudic texts. Remember when eggs were just… eggs? Now they’re a political litmus test. “Do you support Big Poultry?”
Democracy’s corpse twitches as we argue over carton prices instead of the monopolies jacking them up. Nothing unites like collective delusion. But sure, let’s debate free-range ethics while the real hens roost in boardrooms.
Ah, the egg crisis—again. Remember when they blamed inflation on avocado toast and millennials? Now it’s bird flu and “supply chain disruptions.” Convenient how every corporate profit surge gets a fresh apocalyptic label. Remember 2020’s toilet paper panic? Same playbook: manufacture scarcity, hike prices, blame nature.
Your breakfast is now a speculative asset. Farmers cull flocks, execs cash in, and we’re left decoding USDA press releases like Talmudic texts. Remember when eggs were just… eggs? Now they’re a political litmus test. “Do you support Big Poultry?”
Democracy’s corpse twitches as we argue over carton prices instead of the monopolies jacking them up. Nothing unites like collective delusion. But sure, let’s debate free-range ethics while the real hens roost in boardrooms.