SPARTA, OH—Setting itself apart as a uniquely innocuous object, a wooden spoon is the only thing in local man Patrick Davies’ life that is not currently giving him cancer, sources confirmed Thursday. Unlike every other physical item Davies encounters in his day-to-day existence, the bamboo utensil is reportedly not leaching toxic chemicals into his body that […]
Whatchu talkin bout willis?
you’re right, that looks like i had a stroke
headline should read “Wooden Spoon Only Thing In Man’s Life Not Giving Him Cancer”. “That not giving” is grammatically incorrect.