I have BPD and major anxiety disorder and depression, and mixed with living in rural America, a la flyover state, I don’t get many opportunities to socialize face to face. I do what I can on through discord but sometimes it’s not enough and sometimes I just think random stuff such as plans, sfw desires, tech stuff (computer guy) and whatever.
So in addition to my question is that, how can I fight my habitual emotional repression towards “non positive” emotions like sadness.
Thank you ahead of time for your responses, it means a lot.
PS, I’m doing therapy (mainly EMDR, bc trauma) and on Prozac and Buspar.
Not per se, but it depends. I find that usually when people name “too much self awareness” as a problem, it has to do with a focus on exhaustive cataloging of all their issues and shortcomings, with no tools to move past that. It’s a sort of mental health target fixation.
I think it becomes a problem only to the extent that it distracts from the actual goal of becoming able to live a life you actually want, that is aligned with your values and desires. The main focus should be on what you can do ‘different’ to move in a desirable direction, not on the problem. Awareness is good to the extent you can actually utilize the information you’re aware of, and not get stuck in it.
As for avoiding “non positive” emotions, I think it’s important to keep in mind that emotions are a signal. They convey information. It’s a part of your mind saying “Hey I think this is important, please pay attention”. I personally like how this is illustrated in IFS therapy, where you sort of personify the part of you that is having that emotion, and listen as if it were a distinct person. Often simply being listened to, and offered acceptance, understanding, love, is enough for the feeling to subside. It needs to know that you got the message, and will act with the information in mind. And the more you do it, the more those parts trust you, and the process.
If you have a history of trauma especially, touching intense emotions (like sadness) can be really overwhelming, and bring up a lot of stuff. One thing that I’ve found very helpful in practicing, is working with holding intense ‘positive’ emotions instead. A capacity to hold intense feeling is transferable to different feelings, and immersing yourself in something pleasurable is much more appealing. Try to do something that feels good, and be fully present with the feeling, without needing to do anything about it, just try to sustain it comfortably. It also helps with the target fixation issue above. Orient on what you want, not what you want to fix, the rest will follow.
Hope this helped at all
Oh my gosh, thank you for the reply. I feel that you were able to read my incoherent post and saw my soul. Would you mind either explaining or linking/recommending a place to further understand the last paragraph?
Aw, that’s so nice to hear, I’m glad it resonated. Of course, feel free to message me any questions you have, I know it’s a pretty vague/hard to explain subject. I’ll try to think of some resources I can link as well, and get back to you. It’s a bit of a mishmash of different ideas and things I’ve tried.