New to the community, but lurking for ever and stuck inside my egg for the past decade. I finally hit the wall where I was either going to come out or break down. So far, I’m super lucky to have a fantastic and understanding spouse who has my back, but that’s literally the extent of my support network. I’ve always been pretty shy and impersonal, so I have a very tiny friend group. That said, I’m over 40 and can’t wait to transition any longer. I just can’t seem to find any physicians in my area that I don’t think will either deny me care or treat me like I’m a liar. I’m fine with going straight to an endochrinoligist and signing an informed consent, but I really think I should see a therapist or counselor about some things I’ve been struggling with. I’m just having a difficult time of knowing who I can and can’t trust, and I don’t really have anyone around to ask. The only out transfem I know is a professional acquaintance and I’m way too scared to out myself to her yet. I’ve gone through most of the publicly available lists and tools for finding practitioners but they either don’t take my insurance or don’t cover my area. Does anyone have any advice on how to approach this? I want to get started so badly because I feel like I already missed out on so much of life as my true self, but the roadblock now seems to be that I can’t even trust my family physician to know who I really am.
Your decisions are your own, obviously. I don’t know where you live, but in many places, DIY might be your better option for hormones. Given the state of things where I am (U.S.), I honestly regret going ‘legit’ and changing my documents sometimes. For a few hundred dollars, you can acquire everything you need for a lifetime supply of estrogen. This means never having to rely on a doctor or other gatekeeper to allow you to be who you know you are or giving you so little of the hormones you need that you are living in a perpetual state of perimenopause. It does seem scary, but the truth is everyone has unregulated amounts of hormones in their body. Happy to chat more about DIY or trans stuff via DM if you like.
To directly answer your question, if the standard answers like Folkx or Galileo don’t work for you, you may want to visit some local queer spaces and ask around. Folks who are already navigating this stuff will know what’s around and who’s trustworthy already.
Also, congratulations!
Yeah, I personally went the DIY route. I started my transition in August of last year, and started HRT January of this year. I had predicted things were going to get bad pretty fast, so I have avoided being ‘official’ for the time being until I can figure out what to do. I, personally, would like procedures in the future, and the unfortunate reality of that is the fact that my insurance requires a letter from someone actively prescribing and monitoring the progress of HRT for 12 or more months consecutively to cover any of those services, so if I’m gonna have to make a choice in the future of if I’m going to set myself back for years to avoid the potential consequences of being ‘official’, or go to a provider for a prescription so that I can get the necessary letters. Right now, I’m just biding my time while I see how things go (though that won’t stop me from activism).
That’s precisely why I wanted to find a doctor do to this with. I’ve already missed too much with the wrong outside.
I’m in NJ, but not the progressive part of it. I guess Philly would be my closest friendly place to find anyone, and I definitely hear you about the “going official” issues in the US right now. It’s one of the reasons I’m so frightened of telling the wrong people.
I don’t know if I like the idea of DIY. I believe that it works, but I also know that I’m clumsy and forgetful enough to do something wrong. I also really need to talk to a therapist because I will definitely want my letters for surgery someday.
This is the first I’ve seen of either of these, so thank you! I’ll have a look!
If you want recommendations in Philly, DM me, I have lots! And some people I know are in New Jersey, too!
It’s actually not that complicated to do DIY! You don’t need to make the stuff yourself, but if you do it’s really cheap. In either case, gel is simple and easy and you essentially can’t do anything wrong. With injections it’s possible to make some mistakes in terms of dosages and such, but the consequences aren’t really that bad (mostly some discomfort that will pass).
I’m a rather forgetful person and sometimes I will take my injections a day late with no issue. When I took gel I would occasionally be late with my doses then and that was more noticeably uncomfortable.
If you aren’t comfortable with DIY however, then absolutely go look for a legit way of doing HRT. In either case, best of luck! I hope you can find a good way for you.
If you do go with DIY we have an active DIY chat on the matrix server, or you can check out the resources posted in c/diyhrt or make a post