to clarify, the only person’s opinion of you you should truly care about is your own, it is valuable to consider others, but you decide for yourself and only you.

    • Lucy (she/them)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      22
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      3 days ago

      Bigoted men often comment on women’s appearance.

      “Too much makeup.” “Your skirt is too short.” “You should smile more.”

      It goes without saying that the women they’re judging weren’t asking for their opinions.

      • Smorty [she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        3 days ago

        soooo it’s bigoted men who we shouldn’t pay attention to. but that’s like --.-_,.-nothing new >~<

        also i’ve never heard peeps say that ever before… maybe cuz im not from the freedom country

        every time i see one of the posts going "This guy told that woman ‘i think u would look nicer without makeup’ " and he’s being portraid negatively, i always thought

        but like… what if he like . . .-… idk, what if he means it genuinely, in a non-destructive, non-controlling way?.. like “Hey, we’ve known each other for some time now, and … idk if u think so too, but i think that lipgloss might be just a bit too… aggressive? If u like it it’s totally fine, im very happy if that is the case. I just wanted to share my opinion on this, since u also tell me sometime that my tie looks off or stuff like that”.

        Also, i feel it’s weird this is being specifically targeted at men. This might just be me having a weird internal fight of “Men are awful cuz capitalism and selfish” and “Men can be so super nice, let’s not assume the worst all the time”, idk…

        If another women were to tell some woman that some makeup might be just a lil too much, would that be much better? If so, i feel that is rather unfair… ;(

        • TotallynotJessica@lemmy.blahaj.zoneM
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          14
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          3 days ago

          The problem is that men generally don’t understand that even “no makeup” looks still feature makeup. I’d also be kinda annoyed if a woman commented negatively on my appearance without solicitation. Like, maybe I want my makeup to be aggressive, stfu!

          • RowRowRowYourBot
            link
            fedilink
            English
            arrow-up
            6
            ·
            3 days ago

            The amount of times I see people praising a “no-makeup” look when the person has on eyeliner and mascara is way too often. Like have you never seen your own face before?

        • Lucy (she/them)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          10
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          3 days ago

          I’m not from the eagle country either (though not in a better place) and by being quite close with my femme relatives I’ve seen this shit happen on many occasions.

          It’s almost never polite, it’s never “well I think that would be better”. Oftentimes the “advice” is done with an insult, e.g. by comparing a woman to a prostitute.

          Usually they’re just strangers who has no business telling her how she should dress. And yes, if it was a woman saying this it would still be equally bad. But it’s rarely a woman, 99% of the time it’s a man.

          Yeah, the premise that all men must be ignored is bad but it’s the emotional response that often develops after yet another such an idiot opens his mouth.

    • erotador@lemmy.blahaj.zoneOP
      link
      fedilink
      English
      arrow-up
      16
      arrow-down
      1
      ·
      3 days ago

      not only men, nobody’s opinion of you means anything unless you want it to. that being said, I find that it’s most often men who offer unhelpful, or even offensive advice unsolicited. if a man happens to get offended by my unsolicited opinion by seeing this then all I have to say is ~~ <3 ~~ :3c

      • Smorty [she/her]@lemmy.blahaj.zone
        link
        fedilink
        English
        arrow-up
        6
        ·
        3 days ago

        I jus… I rlli want to believe that that many manly peeps aren’t evil.

        I wana believe that this is just me projecting everything bad [capitalist, selfish, unhelpful, not empathetic, unreasonable, loud, aggressive, angry, insults more] onto something, and not axtual reality. Like - it can’t be that clear cut…

        • Of the Air (cele/celes)@lemmy.blahaj.zone
          link
          fedilink
          English
          arrow-up
          6
          arrow-down
          1
          ·
          edit-2
          3 days ago

          Evil is a religious word, they likely aren’t inherently irredeemable but they have probably been conditioned to have certain beliefs about what they should and are allowed to say/think/do which they need to unlearn in order to not be harmful to others.