Hey everyone,

I‘m having a very big dilemma currently.

I‘m a 21 yo transfem from Germany. I‘m recently been diagnosed with OCD, mainly ROCD, have ADHD, atypical autism and a tick disorder. On top of that, my therapist told me that it might be possible I have borderline personality disorder, either with or without OCD.

Now, I‘m currently at a point in life where I have never been. I just feel so drained. I have a wonderful life with my wonderful gf and have a great Job. Thing is, I work in IT-Consulting and that shit can be really stressful at times, especially with ADHD.

Last week on Friday, I had the biggest mental breakdown I‘ve ever had. I was just screaming inside for all my pain to end and I was not comfortable to be left alone, so I went with my gf to her therapy appointment, where her therapist also mentioned going to a clinic. On Monday, I actually went. It was okay, but they couldn’t do more than crisis intervention.

Now, I‘ve called in sick for this week. But I don‘t know If I can currently continue working. Just thinking about working again, even though I literally work from home, is so freaking stressful to me :( I don‘t know if I‘m actually mentally drained or if that‘s just me fearing work or whatever.

I don‘t know what to do. I just want to feel better long term :c

Thank you for reading my rant and advice seeking beautiful people :3