The original post: /r/ohnoconsequences by /u/Tyler1620 on 2025-06-02 21:16:08.

Last year my dad found out my mom was cheating on him and they broke up. Mom moved in with her AP “Ron” and she tried to carry on like nothing happened. With me (16f) and with my brother (13m) she was expecting nothing to have changed but I didn’t want to see her. I told my dad, who told his lawyer, who told the judge and the judge ordered therapy for me and my mom together to work it out. And right now that once a week therapy is the only time I see my mom.

My brother has to go to mom’s house every other weekend despite not wanting to. Mom has told me this is because he sees my reaction and copies me and if I were to stop acting like she did anything bad to me and fixed our relationship she’d have both kids willingly in her life now.

In the almost year since we started therapy we have been to see three different therapists assigned by the same judge. The most recent one we just started having appointments with a month ago and it was suggested I engage just a little in therapy at some point to help get my point across directly to mom. I decided to do this after we switched. The new therapist didn’t just ask dumb questions like the others about why I’m mad at my mom or why I don’t want to forgive her.

Instead the therapist let mom do her talking which was all about how unfair this is. How she was always a great mom to me and my brother and how we should not be treating her different because of how her marriage ended. She never failed in her duty as a parent to the two of us and her heart is broken by the fact she can be so easily discarded. And how unfair she finds it that we won’t give her AP a chance.

Then the therapist asked me if I had anything to say to the things my mom said and I told her I did. For the first time I said exactly how I felt and I told mom directly. I said that yes, mom cheated on dad and their relationship is their relationship. But I pointed out how cheating creates a broken home, one that is full of pain and anger and does damage that can’t be brushed away. I pointed out that mom didn’t think about me and my brother when she chose to betray dad and hurt him or the impact it would have on us to go from our parents together to mom being with someone else immediately.

I said people talk about how kids need time after divorce or death to adjust to the transition and cheating takes away from that because typically the people who had the affair move in together immediately and I said that happened here. I said I went from having a normal happy family to finding out it was not as happy as I expected because clearly mom wasn’t happy. To then being told my parents were divorcing and realizing that my mom had hurt dad. And that mom expected me to live with her and the person she destroyed our family to be with.

I told my mom I don’t see her the same way anymore. She’s not someone to admire because she’s not honest. She doesn’t care about hurting the man who gave her two kids or hurting her two kids. I told her I would never want to be like her now. And that’s hurtful to realize. I said she can talk all she wants about how she did nothing to us and the more she does the more she angers me because she did. She caused so much upheaval in our lives and expected us to just go with it. I told her the fact she expects me to be nice to Ron is insanity and that I felt like she was selfish for refusing to see why me and my brother would feel that way. I said she even wanted to blame me for my brother’s feelings instead of herself.

I said so mom saying this never changed her parenting is wrong. I said it made her a worse parent because of everything I said. And I told my mom and the therapist that my view is pretty fucking set and I’m not open to seeing if it can change.

I took up the rest of our appointment so mom didn’t get to address it but she looked mad.

AITA?