So, I’ve been working on therapy for the longest time with no true “changes” in sight.

Last meeting, the therapist tried to make me admit that I didn’t wanted to do the coop work I’m assigned to do. (Short story: I live in a coop rental unit and I’m on the maintenance team and we’re supposed to teint the first balcony since a while, but it’s been raining every two days). Which I get, I should be able to admit to myself that sometimes, I don’t wanna do stuff that I’m supposed to do - but it’s a dead-end. The voice telling me that I should do what I need to do for the greater good (the other members of the coop) is really strong at judging my perceived laziness. Even though I don’t wanna do it (at this moment), I cannot think that it is valid. Whatever, I’ll be bringing that stuff back up Monday. It’s just that I feel that if I listen to that will of not doing anything, I’d just be doing nothing at all, ever.

Well, at least the constant rain give me an excuse. But I still should do it. I’ve already started.

I hope you’re doing well in your personal struggles.