There’s been so many new laws passed across the US (and some other countries world wide as well), that makes it feel like even visiting another area is unsafe. I feel like I can’t go anywhere without feeling like the entire state is out to get me.
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Every time I hear about rights being taken away I become more bold about my queerness.
Same with my straight cis partner. He actually begged me to paint a trans flag on his banjo because the main online banjo forum was being anti-trans and he was like “Well I don’t want people in public thinking I’m a bigot just because I play banjo”
Granted we’re a straight passing Canadian couple so these new anti-trans laws haven’t directly affected us but he’s wholeheartedly an ally and I’ve identified as bi for as long as I can remember so we do what we can to push back against anti lgbt (or generally bigoted) behaviour.
By throwing myself in to my new relationship and by trying to admin a Lemmy instance during this insane sign up wave.
tl;dr - distracting myself to avoid thinking about it
I’m actually staying put in this increasingly hostile state because I still think, maybe naively, hearts and minds can still be won over, and I’m not going to let the obnoxiously loud minority bully me out of the community I’ve implanted myself into that I now call home. There’s a sizeful amount of us out here doing so.
Granted, I’m speaking from a point of privilege where I have access to out of state inclusive medical care from my employer, and social & financial mobility if things got extremely messy - I totally understand if you need to escape and do what’s best for you, especially rights/medical wise. But I’m taking this privilege, staking my flag in the ground, and being out and proud & show that I’m not going to be deterred.
As someone who moved out of TN, seriously, good for you, and I’m glad to see you being reasonable - I’ve caught so much flak for moving out from other queer people.
I’ve heard the flak you’re talking about with similar discourse here in FL - I’m sorry to hear you had to go through that to what I bet was already a tough decision and/or move. Unfortunately there’s so much judgment in what is already a marginalized community!! But I think everyone should do what feels right for them and what they can do in the current moment - I sincerely hope you are in a much better spot where you are now!
Oh yeah. Seriously, I love New York. Great weather, the people are nicer, my in-laws have no idea where we are…
It kinda sucked moving out of Memphis. We’d lived there for the better part of a decade. I have ties to the tech community there.
Between Manhattanites and the upstate weirdos… I’m not sure that’s an upgrade (jk :P)
Yeah, I get missing the place you had roots in; I moved to the States and thought bigger country = bigger opportunities to connect and grow, but it still doesn’t fully replace what you leave behind! But you do what you have to do, and you make the best of it, and ultimately you find make new ties to compliment the old ones :)
Well, that’s why I’m in WNY now, duh :)
I think the most insane thing is that I bought this house without once stepping foot in it before closing day. We had a seriously incredible realtor. We’re hoping to make some friends. At least we have a big kitchen and the dog has a back yard.
Oh stop! That house sounds gorgeous and you’re making us all jealous!
Oh it’s fantastic, and I will not stop talking about it. Bedroom, two offices, we have a room downstairs we haven’t even figured out what we’re going to do yet.
And our neighbors are so chill! Ugh. Love Buffalo.
That’s both frustrating and appalling. This is a “damned if you do, damned if you don’t” situation, because I can’t even remember how many times I’ve seen the sentiment that “oh the conservative states have made their bed, let them sleep in it” without regard for the members of the queer community who still live there. Sometimes, that’s even followed up with “just move out” when those members are brought up, completely disregarding whether that’s even possible on a financial or emotional level. Every situation is different, and there is no correct answer. The best we can do is support people who are making decisions in good faith, as long as those decisions don’t harm others.
I live in Florida, and I have no current plans to leave.
I’m lucky/privileged that the current set of laws don’t affect me directly (or at least significantly), so I intend to stay as long as I can, so i can continue to protest and bring attention to these issues
I understand that things are fucked right now. If anyone feels they need to leave, i fully support them to do so. (Many of my friends have left for New York or Illinois,) I’m just not at that point myself yet.
touching grass in not enoUGH I NEED BAD THINGS TO HAPPEN TO POWERFUL PEOPLE!!!
Trying to raise awareness in the UK, where I live, whilst at the same time becoming dissociated as fuck.
Any activism groups or anything like that in the UK you’d recommend helping?
I’m afraid I don’t know any off the top of my head. I guess Switchboard is a good charity, but I don’t know about any activists.
Right now, I’m just keeping my peers up to date and on the right track; I’d do more, and I will do more, but for now I just need to keep people’s attention and respect, or I likely won’t be able to reach them at all.
The government of Puerto Rico has many problems, but shitty anti-LGBT laws aren’t one of them fortunately. The politicians are too busy using the age-old “statehood, current status, or independence” as a wedge issue to even think about other, more relevant topics. And as a result many LGBT supportive bills have been approved, the Civil Code was even ammended to explicitly protect same gender marriage.
I don’t fear much for a government problem, but for a personal problem. I’m going to start transitioning as soon as possible because my mental health can’t take it anymore, and while I’m doing that I’ll be saving money, but if my parents find out too soon…needless to say it could end up very badly.
To answer your question, since I already have too much pressure on me, I decided to avoid as much as possible these news. A part of me feels bad for looking the other way, but reading news after news of yet another state making people like me miserable, it takes a toll on me.
I’m actively planning to move to a different province. Our premier has recently started regurgitating rhetoric extremely similar to what we can see down south, and our Conservative party has managed to claw back some rights which had been established for the safety and well-being of trans and non-binary kids had in school.
Saving up money and having an escape plan gives me a light at the end of the tunnel. I do feel some guilt for not trying to stay here and fight, but I’m not a fighter at heart. Yet it seems like I’ve been doing nothing but fighting. I’m tired.
(And I’ll be honest, another way I deal is by consuming way too many drugs.)
Pls stay and help us take back the province.
People should prioritize their own safety and health (including mental, especially for a population with a high suicide rate) and that of their loved ones, imo, when it comes to these situations.
It’s just sad because it plays into the goals of these bigots. They want safe spaces where they don’t have to see/be around LGBTQ folks. Leaving these places is what they want.
getting the hell out of here and headed to protected states. if they don’t want us then i don’t want to be here.
Yeah, I just moved from Tennessee to New York. Look, there’s stuff wrong with every state, but at least NY isn’t going to try to kill me or invalidate my marriage.
right? we don’t deserve the hassle. i know some of us can’t flee to other states right now but hey, if most of us move to protected states then we’ll be able to show that we’re not a small number. we’ll have little havens of sensibility and not have to worry about garbage “trans boogeyman” rhetoric
Yep. I’m so sick of hearing people say we should stay in the places that want to kill us because we need to vote to improve things. Like… no, how about for once the so-called allies put their money where their mouths are and fight like we’ve had to?
I recently moved out of a red state to a solid blue state. My mental health has improved so much since moving to a state where I’m not constantly checking the news to see what human rights I’ve lost today
thank you. my florida friends are banking on someone to stop the anti-trans laws down there and i keep telling them that no one is speaking up for us. they want so badly for trans people to get the hell out of the state and it will be so easy for them because we’re such a small, spread percentage of people. i hope we can all stay safe and keep coming out and growing a bit as a group because this is clearly a fight by ourselves. stonewall riots was started by trans women, but where is everybody now to help us?
Seriously, we’ve all fought for so long. Why is it on us, the group with effectively no power, to protect us here? It is the duty of the strong (allies with actual power) to protect the weak (the LGBT community).
NY is pretty great so far. Weather is way nicer.
you’d think :/
happy for you 💙 i’ve never been to new york but with such a diverse mix of people i’m sure it will be refreshing to leave some of those old timey prejudices in the dust
Did the same thing. Fled a red state a couple years ago. I get that it’s a massive privilege but I spent years agitating and the writing was on the wall. Within 18 months of fleeing, they moved to outlaw affirming care for trans kids and adults. I miss owning a home, miss my garden, miss so many things about where I lived (and hoo boy the higher cost of living is a drain). But at least I know that my partner and I can access necessary health care and if my kid should ever need to, they will be able to, too.
Bonus, not paying taxes anymore to a state that would kill me sooner than grant me basic human dignity and bodily autonomy.
Washington is a good destination! Laws at the state level are very progressive, decent jobs market. The biggest drawback is the hight cost of living (on the west side of the state.)
ty 💙 was really my only downside i could think of for washington, the cost of living.
I just went Friday to submit my name change court order to the DPS in Texas for a new Driver’s license, and all the people there seemed to be perfectly nice.
I don’t necessarily like it here, but moving is hard, especially when I have a job I like here that’s not entirely remote just yet. If my building ever shuts down and I go to full remote work (possibly planned within 1-2 years at a company level), then I’ll probably move somewhere more LGBT-friendly.
I’m in the UK right now but trying to evaluate where I can get to after my uni course. Currently looking at Germany and New Zealand but really, I just want somewhere I can hole up with a partner and feel safe. I don’t know where that’ll be.
Aotearoa in general is pretty good - keep an eye on what happens here in the next six months ago. We’re seeing the same rise in anti-trans disinformation that everywhere else is, unfortunately, and we have an election in October - some parties have already made gender an election issue.
I remain optimistic - I know the opposition is an absolutely tiny minority - and we’re pretty good in terms of general inclusion and access to healthcare, but it’ll be an interesting few months!
I’m in the US, and my family was fortunate to be able to move states. I’m still worried what will happen with the next US presidential election and whether we’ll have to flee the country. There was a news article recently that told the story of a trans child whose family was also moving. I found out they lived in my old neighborhood :( I am angry and scared and sad for these kids.
Meanwhile, everyone I know who is not queer is very dismissive when I try and talk about this stuff. They either accuse me of exaggerating, or assure me it will never get worse (worse? than what? literally having to move? people being denied healthcare? emergency care?).
I also have a lot of anxiety being around kids. Because of all the stupid propaganda about queer people being groomers, I feel like someone’s going to accuse me of something, but I’m an anxious person to begin with.
I’m also afraid to travel to “red states” (something that doesn’t actually exist). It might help you to know that I recently did, and everyone was friendly.
I think the real tragedy here is that most people are supportive of queer people, but there’s this tiny group of people shouting really loudly and making it seem like the world’s out to get us.
And for the record, I’m not letting these people prevent me from doing the things I want to do. That’s what they want.
I live in the only city in the world with an official transgender district, so I’m sitting in a place of extreme privilege. I’ve been pushing on my organization to do better- I’ve increased access to transgender healthcare for our employees and their children. I’ve hired out of state queers to come give talks so I can help financially support where I can. I’m even giving talks about diversity and equity now. I support local queers by going to their establishments and seeking out queer and trans artists to support wherever I can. I offer up my knowledge when I can through a variety of trans communities I participate in. I wish I could do more, but I’m happy doing what I can.
What city has a transgender district?? A part of me really loves the idea of that, but I also get worried about segregation. What is it like to live there??
San Francisco. It’s not segregated and trans people don’t have to live there, it’s just a recognition and celebration of trans people. They have a bunch of local government officials who do trans stuff like educationals, put on trans artists, work on improving healthcare and other issues for trans people, etc.
That’s incredible!! I live in SoCal (the high desert, blegh) and planned on making a trip to San Francisco later this summer. Is there anything specific you would recommend a trans woman visiting your city?
There’s a little trans art gallery called liminal space that you might want to check out. Past that just the typical SF stuff - check out Castro, glbt museum, hit up mission Dolores Park, etc.
What kinda city stuff do you like? Hikes? Beach? Museums? Food? More direction and I can provide recs
All of that sounds great! I’ve been once before but I didn’t really get to explore the city or wildlife since I wasn’t there for very long. I prefer not to be in the concrete jungle areas but I know there’s probably some really cool places to see so I’m def open to it
I’m trying my best to push back against the hatred within my area and community. I do foresee myself needing to leave eventually, but we will see. I think it’s likely parts of my state will essentially break off if things go off the wall hard enough though.
Can I, as a foreigner help pushing back?
It honestly depends. Mainly spreading awareness and boosting movements that are pushing back definitely help. Being at least conscious to a degree of what’s happening is a step in the right direction.
