• ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
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    1 year ago

    Try getting to know them and treat them like people before you come onto them.

    This exact thing is why so many men fall down the alt-right pipeline.

    It’s just plain false. Trying to “be their friend first” is how the whole friendzone thing came about in the first place before it was highjacked by actual incels.

    Guys hear you’re supposed to be her friend first so they pour hours upon hours of effort into being the girls friend. Then she ends up dating some other guy because you didn’t ask in time. Because you were trying to be her friend and he wasn’t.

    I’m not saying that this is how it always works out but this is the average guys experience with dating.

    • dfc09@lemmy.world
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      1 year ago

      I didn’t say “dump hours into being their best friend”, just don’t open up with pickup lines. Get to know them. Learn if they’re even a compatible personality type with you before you try getting in their pants.

      • ThatWeirdGuy1001@lemmy.world
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        1 year ago

        I wish I knew how to respond to this in a way that wouldn’t label me an incel but fuck it here goes.

        That’s exactly what I do. I don’t even hit on a girl until I know I like her personality. I’ll come on to them blatantly stating I’m interested in dating them. Most of the time they act interested. They respond positively. I’ll even take them out somewhere nice and we’ll have a great time.

        Next thing I know they stop responding as much and lo and behold. They got a boyfriend.

        Idk wtf I’m doing wrong and it’s really fuckin hard not to get pissed when it happens multiple times in a row.

        I just don’t even fuckin try anymore

        • dfc09@lemmy.world
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          1 year ago

          I don’t think you’re doing anything wrong in that case. It doesn’t always work out, and it can very frustrating when you think it’s working out and it blows up in your face (or just disappears entirely)

          It’s just important not to bring that frustration to the table next time. And it’s normal to take a step back and say “nevermind I’m not gonna worry about this”

          Just keep your head up, man. One day you’ll come across somebody who wants it to work with you, and will make sure does.