We’re now on the third or fourth generation of parents who think the sun shines out of their kids arses and their little cherubs are more special than your cherubs.
The latest generation of parents are all the Emilys and Olivias that grew up shrieking and shouting in restaurants and supermarkets, and not being chastised for it.
This feels like a completely biased view; if you were to ask my partner who is a secondary school teaching assistant/supports SEN kids, most of the children/teens being actual problems (and not just annoying someone who, by the sounds of it, doesn’t like children to begin with), are the ones born to parents who don’t give a fuck about encouraging creativety/individuality/imagination, either in combination with no discipline or overtly harsh discipline.
The ones that suffer harsh discipline are often as messed up as those who face absolutely no discipline, (ironically, often they overlap, many face absolutely no discipline most of the time to then have overtly harsh punishment when they push things too far), but make no mistake; the ones who face that early life are not the ones with parents who are encouraging them to be themselves, to use their imagination or to be individual. They are the ones that are forced to be independent because their parent is down the pub leaving them to sort tea for themselves, or the the ones whose home life is never stable with many different but no permanent parental figures.
Heck, I know a few people raised by hippies, even if they’re not hippiesh themselves, they still show a greater appreciation for nature/reading, are generally quite well rounded individuals.
The people I knew who faced overtly strict upbringings, either ended up not having the backbone/social skills to navigate life, or going off of the rails when given the opportunity.
The key, as always, is balance; encourage your child to develop a sense of self (and by extension self worth, self respect and self reliance) while also teaching them that they need to respect others with the same respect that they are shown; if they aren’t shown any respect then they’ll have none for other people.
Children are in a constant state of learning and developing; that’s why they are children; they are developing these skills as much as any other skill.
I’m a bit vague on the specifics, but a social worker friend of mine, who was involved in a particularly nasty case where both parents regularly beat their child: slaps, punches, belts, wooden spoons, whatever was near to hand. The story went that during the trial they would both repeatedly state they had done nothing wrong, that their parents had hit them and “it didn’t harm me” and showed no remorse or guilt in having repeatedly assaulted their kids. In the judge’s closing remarks addressing them both for sentencing (jail time, kids taken away in to care) the judge said something along the lines of
“You have both said multiple times that the abuse you suffered by your parents did you no damage. It did, it did so much damage that it has made you believe that it is OK to beat your own children.”
I suspect you’re a victim of the toupee effect. You likely don’t notice all the kids behaving well. However you explicitly notice those that are being terrors. Because of that, all the kids you remember are hellish crotch goblins.
I have a young daughter. She’s very generally very well behaved in public. The few times she’s been a hell raiser, I’ve removed her from public, rapidly. At the same time, I’ve not raised her to obedience by authority. Instead she is cooperative by mutual respect. It’s a lot harder, but seems to help mold a far better little human.
The ones who run riot have often broken their parents. I didn’t truly comprehend the pressure a small child can apply, mentally and emotionally. It can grind you down rapidly. You need a comprehensive plan to outthink them, otherwise they will grind you into the ground and YOLO dance on your (emotional) corpse.
As a person who interacts with children everyday you couldn’t be more wrong. Their grandparents however are usually the worst most entitled shit bags to every be raised.
I disagree with you massively, I think the younger generations are brilliant. More emotionally intelligent and socially aware. Makes me hopeful for the future.
We’re now on the third or fourth generation of parents who think the sun shines out of their kids arses and their little cherubs are more special than your cherubs.
The latest generation of parents are all the Emilys and Olivias that grew up shrieking and shouting in restaurants and supermarkets, and not being chastised for it.
It fuckin shows
How many children do you interact with?
Heck, how many people do you interact with?
This feels like a completely biased view; if you were to ask my partner who is a secondary school teaching assistant/supports SEN kids, most of the children/teens being actual problems (and not just annoying someone who, by the sounds of it, doesn’t like children to begin with), are the ones born to parents who don’t give a fuck about encouraging creativety/individuality/imagination, either in combination with no discipline or overtly harsh discipline.
The ones that suffer harsh discipline are often as messed up as those who face absolutely no discipline, (ironically, often they overlap, many face absolutely no discipline most of the time to then have overtly harsh punishment when they push things too far), but make no mistake; the ones who face that early life are not the ones with parents who are encouraging them to be themselves, to use their imagination or to be individual. They are the ones that are forced to be independent because their parent is down the pub leaving them to sort tea for themselves, or the the ones whose home life is never stable with many different but no permanent parental figures.
Heck, I know a few people raised by hippies, even if they’re not hippiesh themselves, they still show a greater appreciation for nature/reading, are generally quite well rounded individuals.
The people I knew who faced overtly strict upbringings, either ended up not having the backbone/social skills to navigate life, or going off of the rails when given the opportunity.
The key, as always, is balance; encourage your child to develop a sense of self (and by extension self worth, self respect and self reliance) while also teaching them that they need to respect others with the same respect that they are shown; if they aren’t shown any respect then they’ll have none for other people.
Children are in a constant state of learning and developing; that’s why they are children; they are developing these skills as much as any other skill.
I’m a bit vague on the specifics, but a social worker friend of mine, who was involved in a particularly nasty case where both parents regularly beat their child: slaps, punches, belts, wooden spoons, whatever was near to hand. The story went that during the trial they would both repeatedly state they had done nothing wrong, that their parents had hit them and “it didn’t harm me” and showed no remorse or guilt in having repeatedly assaulted their kids. In the judge’s closing remarks addressing them both for sentencing (jail time, kids taken away in to care) the judge said something along the lines of
“You have both said multiple times that the abuse you suffered by your parents did you no damage. It did, it did so much damage that it has made you believe that it is OK to beat your own children.”
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Plato in the original version, although it’s actually an invented quote from a PhD student in about 1905
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I suspect you’re a victim of the toupee effect. You likely don’t notice all the kids behaving well. However you explicitly notice those that are being terrors. Because of that, all the kids you remember are hellish crotch goblins.
I have a young daughter. She’s very generally very well behaved in public. The few times she’s been a hell raiser, I’ve removed her from public, rapidly. At the same time, I’ve not raised her to obedience by authority. Instead she is cooperative by mutual respect. It’s a lot harder, but seems to help mold a far better little human.
The ones who run riot have often broken their parents. I didn’t truly comprehend the pressure a small child can apply, mentally and emotionally. It can grind you down rapidly. You need a comprehensive plan to outthink them, otherwise they will grind you into the ground and YOLO dance on your (emotional) corpse.
As a person who interacts with children everyday you couldn’t be more wrong. Their grandparents however are usually the worst most entitled shit bags to every be raised.
Honestly, this sounds more like you just don’t like children.
I disagree with you massively, I think the younger generations are brilliant. More emotionally intelligent and socially aware. Makes me hopeful for the future.