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The original was posted on /r/relationships by /u/Less_Salt on 2023-09-15 03:18:32+00:00.
So let me preface this by saying I really love my gf and think shes a great partner. She’s caring and gets along great with my family and friends.
When we first started dating it was sexual too, but after a few months she stopped having sex entirely. She had a bit of a wild past and even when we started dating she was still a party girl who did lots of drugs. I did try to stop getting her to do drugs, particularly coke.
She eventually stopped, but also got hardcore into religion. So much so she went full abstinent mode and we stopped having sex. By this point I really liked her and I could respect she was trying to change, so I stuck by her anyway.
Early in summer we had a fight and broke up. A week later she and her friends went on a long vacation. When she came back in mid August she apologized to me and we got back together. Last week however, some shit happened between her and her friend. I think they got in a fight and she told her boyfriend that she cheated on him, and her friend told me that she cheated on me this summer.
Now, I don’t think we were in a relationship at all in the summer so I don’t consider it cheating. What does boggle my mind is that once I asked her friend exactly what happened, she told me that she had hooked up with 3 guys during their vacation. Apparently she had been having sex throughout her vacation, but since she got back its been almost a month and we haven’t had sex at all.
I confronted her about it and she denied it at first but I could tell she was lying. She eventually confessed. Her defense was that she thought our relationship was over and she was depressed.
I just don’t understand it. Shes extremely adamant about abstinent when shes with me. I respected her abstinence because I thought she was serious about it and religion was helping her to be better by not drinking and doing drugs. But idk how I can take her seriously anymore.
Tbh I’ve always been somewhat confused about her turning super religious, since she stopped having sex but she still posts scantily clad photos on her social media - more than ever really. She defends that too.
So I just feel like shes not really interested in me sexually.
tl;dr: My gf convinced me to be abstinent with her. During a break, she hooked up throughout summer with multiple guys. Dont know how any of this makes sense.
It’s gonna hurt in the short term, but you gotta treat yourself better and stop being her backup plan.