TLJ was an A+ script for an anarchist deconstruction of Star Wars.

It somehow got made into an actual numbered Star Wars sequel.

The final edit has hallmarks of executives going “Oh shit” and nuh-uh-ing most of the important parts, until the final product is a C- film in a D- trilogy.

I beg you - think about how the movie begins and ends. A soldier sacrifices herself for the cause, with a hint of untrained Force use, and the enormity of that is immediately undercut by the engagement’s irrelevance. A child slave casually uses the Force while he looks to the stars. These would be incredible book-ends, if they weren’t adjacent to a goddamn prank call and a twenty-minute action sequence going ‘whoops, nevermind.’

I’m getting worked-up about the fantastic details squandered by the final product. Rey’s parents being nobody is a perfect answer. Kylo might as well stop the movie, turn to camera, and say “anyone can be a hero.” A sentiment echoed verbatim in Luke’s JJ-made-him-a-hermit training, where he’s incensed that some religious order ever laid claim to a universal energy. Rose’s sister was not a Jedi. That nameless slave child was not a Jedi. Fuck’s sake, young Anakin and teenage Luke weren’t Jedi, and they still used the Force on the regular. Luke in particular was supposed to be an everyman protagonist - some dirt-farmer who got dramatic music when he looked to the horizon.

This movie’s central thesis was recapturing that invitation. It told everyone, you, yes you, can go do cool shit. Nobody’s gonna hand you a destiny.

Was it a good movie? Nooo. But it was better-written than the first one by a mile, and the third was a clusterfuck on every conceivable level. Well, almost every level. JJ makes stupid shit so pretty. The whole thing where they erase C3PO is fractally stupid, but Rey’s almost-fight with Kylo is fucking incredible. Just a shame about all the parts where people say words.