I tried coming out at 18. It didn’t go so well. I told my best friend… who then never spoke to me again. It was embarrassing, we were doing the same training scheme and would bump into each other. He completely ignored me.
I was glad when that year was over, I went off to university and never saw him again. I do wonder about him sometimes, and did a little digging. He appears to have completely vanished.
After that, in my first year at uni I had an awful experience and nailed the closet door shut until I was 26.
I had a seizure that was… misunderstood by the people I was with and my own escape was to clam up completely about it for some years.
I did eventually talk to a therapist who gave me a good explanation, it just took some time.
shit. everyone I told for years just brushed me off and when I started hormones my family got mad as hell and were all “I thought that was just a phase!” what absolute fucking shit
That is fucking incredible, what is wrong with them?
Coming out to my friends as trans/lesbian was very easy, with all of them instantly accepting me. My family was almost the exact opposite, with them being confused and angry at first and then denying it ever happened later 😞
I’m sorry for how your family reacted.
My mother cried. It was hard. She tried to deny it. I was really hoping she would help me and even be happy for me, but she was devastated. She said she would always love me and she didn’t call me any names, but that was the best I got for years.
My aunt and Uncle, who I was working for at the time, were just kinda shocked. They gave a tepid “we hope this makes you happy.”
All my friends were cool. Nearly all my coworkers were cool. A couple years later, when I came out to my new job to transition full time, management was super cool. They did everything I asked and used my new name from day one.
I had some rough spots, lost touch with some of my family. But overall I was prepared for much worse. Many years later, my mother, aunt, and uncle, were much warmer and supportive at my wedding.
So all’s well that ends well.
Most people assume I’m gay, I have to come out as bi a lot. Lol, Just too much fashion sense I guess
I came out as bi to my partner of over a decade. They congratulated me, and because were monogamous, nothing else really changed. Then they announced that they “could lose me to anyone” jokingly. I shared the news with a few queer friends and we laughed at bi erasure memes.
I wish everyone’s coming out was as easy as mine, but it’s not, and my heart goes out to those who struggled, or still struggling to be who you are in front of everyone. We support you ❤️
coming out was great with my friends but for my family, i was immediately invalidated when i came out as ace and also when i came out as trans. lmao. they’re okay with me being ace now but we’re still working on the trans thing. they seem to think they’re doing a good job. they are not
I’m ace/homoromantic.
Thankfully I live in a pretty queer friendly area. I never technically came out, I just brought my GF with me to Thanksgiving one year. I absolutely gave my parents a heads up, but my personal philosophy is that if I wouldn’t have to come out if I was straight, I shouldn’t have to come out just because I’m gay. Thankfully my parents stopped inviting the problematic parts of my family years ago, so everything went super well. I’m effectively out to everyone generally in my day to day life.
My being ace though is nobody’s business except for my GF and tends to not come up in conversation lol
I’m not Out out, I don’t hide that I’m asexual and will tell people if they ask but it has rarely come up. Some people at work know, and other than dumb questions and one guy who keeps outing me as ace to people it went fine. My gender on the other hand I’m not really settled on so I’m not really out to anyone other than my closest friends and partner as agender
I’m “out” in that I’m married and will tell people I have a husband, but I’m also not “out out” in that I don’t straight up tell people I’m gay unless they ask. My policy has always been that if people really want to know, they can ask. I don’t see a need to go around shouting from the rooftops, I mean straight people don’t do that, do they (usually)?
Yeah, that is my view too, if straight people don’t have to come out why should I? It’s no-one’s business unless they ask, and even it’s at my discretion if it’s their business or not
my friends have all taken it well, my parents took both coming outs poorly (truly there is nothing like “I GIVE UP HAVE A NICE LIFE” being yelled at u by ur mom 🥺)
Had no real issues coming out as aro/ace. That being said, I’ve never really mentioned it at work and I’m also a bit cautious of doing so. The atmosphere there isn’t necessarily anti-lgbt, but also definitely not very pro-lgbt. But I’m out to friends and parents and had no issues there
Came out tran to my family multiple times, got mocked and forcefully recloseted every time. Never coming out to anything again.
I’m transmasc and questionning if I’m gay or pan, leaning more on gay.
I came out as trans earlier this year and it hurt my mom quite a bit. She didn’t take it badly, but I was always her little girl, so it took some time for her to adapt and properly accept it. My dad doesn’t really know or care, that’s on him, idc either. My granny is super cool and asks me a ton of questions on the process (I’m on T since May and looking into top surgery). Rest of my family took it ok, they don’t seem to care much lol.
My friends are LGBTQ+ themselves and extremely supportive.
As for the gay thing, there isn’t really any “coming out” required, but I always like men, even when I presented as female.
I came out when I was 49. It took a while to come out to myself. In contrast, coming out to family and friends was easy. Most everyone was supportive, although Mom doesn’t really want to talk about it.
The downside of growing up in the 70’s and 80’s was society was sh1t for LGBTs, the upside was when I did finally come out, there was really no risk of getting kicked out. If someone didn’t like it, they were invited to go to h3ll. 🏳️🌈😁
I usually don’t talk about my sexuality much, but when I came out to my mother she was just like: “Ok… Anyway, any idea for dinner today?” For my friends I always was ‘out’, so no issues there. I don’t have any contact with my father anymore, so no idea how he would react. Last I heard is he did vote for some right wing party though, so probably not that well.
First time I tried was in middle school. She was disgusted and outed me to the whole school (conservative south). Eventually my parents found out and it went alright, I mostly denied everything.
I also nailed shut the closet door until college when I finally accepted/discovered again my queerness.
Came out again as bi and non-binary a few years ago, have tons of supportive (and trans) friends, my partner is amazing. My parents kinda try but I don’t bother too much anymore. I’m not really “out” at work other than being generally queer looking.
Overall pretty traumatic but I’m in a much better place now, gotta look at the bright side.
