If folks check my post history, you would know that I go to an escort for sex. And as usual, I did go to the same escort for sex, but this time around something felt a little bit different. I wouldn’t say I didn’t enjoy the sex.
But at the same time I kind of realised that sitting around outside - but not loitering around her place to make it obvious that I was a client, waiting around for said escort to get ready (and I was on time - this is usual for this escort), getting in, having a shower, seeing her getting ready too, and then having the act of sex as well as half an hour of naked chit-chat while she smoked and talked about her heart condition… it really wasn’t where I saw my life going in terms of sex and relationships.
I think a large part is compounded by the fact that I have a new house (yes, I’m still banging on about this) and I’m learning to do so much stuff on my own. Next month I’ll be 35 years old, and yet in so many ways I feel like such a child in terms of learning to look after myself. I’m not going to go into too much, but I have some complicated feelings about the way my parents supported me the past 10 years.
That afternoon, I sent my escort a text saying that I think I’m ready for a relationship and because of that, I’m very much going to stop seeing her from now on. Of course she texts back that she’s available for support etc etc, but I deleted her number as well as other numbers of escorts I’ve considered and/or tried.
I remember the first time I had sex (with an escort - you can read that here: https://lemmynsfw.com/comment/2017322), I remember feeling super down about my penis size (again, I’ve talked about that my feelings towards small penis shaming: https://lemmynsfw.com/comment/749462). Now that I’m getting older and I have more experience, I’ve definitely stopped caring. It also helps that the lovely people on lemmynsfw are incredibly supportive, which helps a ton. In a nutshell, I’m feeling better about myself and my body than I was a few years ago.
So yeah, I feel like I’m reaching a point in my life. Not sure what I can call it, but it’s definitely a change.
Oh, and I made two posts on the /c/cocks community:
I mean, if you were around I’d definitely have some fun with you, man. You got what you got, and I’d say it’s plenty for both receiving and giving pleasure. btw most of the nerves in the vagina/vulva are right near the opening. Women don’t even feel that much deeper inside! Most men also have their prostate pretty close to their hole, too, like 1-2 inches :-)
I’m really glad to hear you’re stepping into a new chapter and going outside of your comfort zone. I think you’re on a good path with these changes. I personally enjoy sex only when I feel connected to my partner, and I’m not sure I could feel that way with an escort who is being paid for their time.
It is going to be hard, especially if you’re only going after women (trust me lol), but even if you get laid less, those good feelings will last so much longer and be so much more intense. It will be awkward, funny, silly, sexy, and intimate all together. I’m rooting for you, and yes I think the whole lemmynsfw crowd is on your side!
If you ever want someone to chat with, msg me any time :-)
ETA: and yeah regarding size the other folks are right. I can leave bottoms sore for days. Which means it’s hard to have sex with the same person regularly! I’m not even that monstrously large or anything!
I personally enjoy sex only when I feel connected to my partner, and I’m not sure I could feel that way with an escort who is being paid for their time.
Yeah, and this was a big part of it. I remember reading/watching someone describing sleeping with escorts/prostitutes as drinking saltwater in that you think you feel refreshed, but are constantly thirsty. I think that’s a great analogy, except for the fact that my sexual needs were and are met tbh. It’s just my emotional/relationship needs aren’t being met, and no escort could deliver that tbh.
If you ever want someone to chat with, msg me any time :-)
Thanks dude, you’ve been really nice and helpful since I’ve met you. Who knows, I may end up just reaching out just to say hi :)
Sounds like a lot of self reflection happened this week. Good luck with the changes in your life! Fuck anyone who shames you, they’re not worth your time 🙂
I have always found it strange how women can shame penis size. We’re constantly judged ourselves for never being perfect enough, you’d think there’d be a bit more empathy.
It’s easier though, when the red flags are shown up front, so you know to walk away before making any serious time investment. Just don’t take it to heart, because it’s a reflection of them, not you.
Sounds like a lot of self reflection happened this week. Good luck with the changes in your life! Fuck anyone who shames you, they’re not worth your time 🙂
Thank you, and exactly! When I was in my twenties, this stuff used to hurt me much more. I’m not sure if it’s age or experience, but I’m giving less fucks about things as I get older. The world isn’t going to collapse because my x isn’t y or whatever. Especially dating - I’m more interested in someone liking me for the nerdy self that I am rather than any sexual prowess. That was the penny-dropping moment that really made me seal the deal and make these changes in my life.
I have always found it strange how women can shame penis size. We’re constantly judged ourselves for never being perfect enough, you’d think there’d be a bit more empathy.
Honestly it’s both men and women. It’s society - the same one that shames women for having “too many” sexual encounters (???) and men for not having enough. It’s all a load of bollocks to be honest, and I’m glad I’m a place mentally to not give it much mind.
It’s easier though, when the red flags are shown up front, so you know to walk away before making any serious time investment. Just don’t take it to heart, because it’s a reflection of them, not you.
You’re absolutely right, once you hit your 30s you stop giving a shit, you realise that the most important thing is your own wellbeing and mental health. I’m fairly new around here, but I love how supportive the male centered spaces are.
Definitely keep being your nerdy self, nerdy guys are the best 🥰
It takes a magic combination of a man and woman, their chemistry, biology, and state of mind for many women to orgasm vaginally from a penis. Mouths, hands, and toys seem way more effective to me anyway :-)
I can cum vaginally, but I need lots of oral play first (suck my clit and I’ll fall into another dimension 😋) There’s also a different feeling for both kinds of orgasm, so they’re both great in their own way. The real fun is in exploring though, trying something new to see what works. Orgasms aren’t always the most important part of sex, being intimate with someone and having fun together is equally rewarding.
So I finally got round to getting laid.
If folks check my post history, you would know that I go to an escort for sex. And as usual, I did go to the same escort for sex, but this time around something felt a little bit different. I wouldn’t say I didn’t enjoy the sex.
But at the same time I kind of realised that sitting around outside - but not loitering around her place to make it obvious that I was a client, waiting around for said escort to get ready (and I was on time - this is usual for this escort), getting in, having a shower, seeing her getting ready too, and then having the act of sex as well as half an hour of naked chit-chat while she smoked and talked about her heart condition… it really wasn’t where I saw my life going in terms of sex and relationships.
I think a large part is compounded by the fact that I have a new house (yes, I’m still banging on about this) and I’m learning to do so much stuff on my own. Next month I’ll be 35 years old, and yet in so many ways I feel like such a child in terms of learning to look after myself. I’m not going to go into too much, but I have some complicated feelings about the way my parents supported me the past 10 years.
That afternoon, I sent my escort a text saying that I think I’m ready for a relationship and because of that, I’m very much going to stop seeing her from now on. Of course she texts back that she’s available for support etc etc, but I deleted her number as well as other numbers of escorts I’ve considered and/or tried.
I remember the first time I had sex (with an escort - you can read that here: https://lemmynsfw.com/comment/2017322), I remember feeling super down about my penis size (again, I’ve talked about that my feelings towards small penis shaming: https://lemmynsfw.com/comment/749462). Now that I’m getting older and I have more experience, I’ve definitely stopped caring. It also helps that the lovely people on lemmynsfw are incredibly supportive, which helps a ton. In a nutshell, I’m feeling better about myself and my body than I was a few years ago.
So yeah, I feel like I’m reaching a point in my life. Not sure what I can call it, but it’s definitely a change.
Oh, and I made two posts on the /c/cocks community:
The first one was because I was super horny, and the second I posted last night was to remind me to make this thread lol.
I mean, if you were around I’d definitely have some fun with you, man. You got what you got, and I’d say it’s plenty for both receiving and giving pleasure. btw most of the nerves in the vagina/vulva are right near the opening. Women don’t even feel that much deeper inside! Most men also have their prostate pretty close to their hole, too, like 1-2 inches :-)
I’m really glad to hear you’re stepping into a new chapter and going outside of your comfort zone. I think you’re on a good path with these changes. I personally enjoy sex only when I feel connected to my partner, and I’m not sure I could feel that way with an escort who is being paid for their time.
It is going to be hard, especially if you’re only going after women (trust me lol), but even if you get laid less, those good feelings will last so much longer and be so much more intense. It will be awkward, funny, silly, sexy, and intimate all together. I’m rooting for you, and yes I think the whole lemmynsfw crowd is on your side!
If you ever want someone to chat with, msg me any time :-)
ETA: and yeah regarding size the other folks are right. I can leave bottoms sore for days. Which means it’s hard to have sex with the same person regularly! I’m not even that monstrously large or anything!
Yeah, and this was a big part of it. I remember reading/watching someone describing sleeping with escorts/prostitutes as drinking saltwater in that you think you feel refreshed, but are constantly thirsty. I think that’s a great analogy, except for the fact that my sexual needs were and are met tbh. It’s just my emotional/relationship needs aren’t being met, and no escort could deliver that tbh.
Thanks dude, you’ve been really nice and helpful since I’ve met you. Who knows, I may end up just reaching out just to say hi :)
Sounds like a lot of self reflection happened this week. Good luck with the changes in your life! Fuck anyone who shames you, they’re not worth your time 🙂
I have always found it strange how women can shame penis size. We’re constantly judged ourselves for never being perfect enough, you’d think there’d be a bit more empathy.
It’s easier though, when the red flags are shown up front, so you know to walk away before making any serious time investment. Just don’t take it to heart, because it’s a reflection of them, not you.
Thank you, and exactly! When I was in my twenties, this stuff used to hurt me much more. I’m not sure if it’s age or experience, but I’m giving less fucks about things as I get older. The world isn’t going to collapse because my x isn’t y or whatever. Especially dating - I’m more interested in someone liking me for the nerdy self that I am rather than any sexual prowess. That was the penny-dropping moment that really made me seal the deal and make these changes in my life.
Honestly it’s both men and women. It’s society - the same one that shames women for having “too many” sexual encounters (???) and men for not having enough. It’s all a load of bollocks to be honest, and I’m glad I’m a place mentally to not give it much mind.
Could not have said it better myself!!
You’re absolutely right, once you hit your 30s you stop giving a shit, you realise that the most important thing is your own wellbeing and mental health. I’m fairly new around here, but I love how supportive the male centered spaces are.
Definitely keep being your nerdy self, nerdy guys are the best 🥰
And keep sharing pictures because they’re great!
Thank you for the support! And I definitely will at some point!
It takes a magic combination of a man and woman, their chemistry, biology, and state of mind for many women to orgasm vaginally from a penis. Mouths, hands, and toys seem way more effective to me anyway :-)
I can cum vaginally, but I need lots of oral play first (suck my clit and I’ll fall into another dimension 😋) There’s also a different feeling for both kinds of orgasm, so they’re both great in their own way. The real fun is in exploring though, trying something new to see what works. Orgasms aren’t always the most important part of sex, being intimate with someone and having fun together is equally rewarding.