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The original was posted on /r/tifu by /u/get_paper on 2023-07-04 12:43:27+00:00.

I

35m have been sitting on my couch for like 17 fuckuing days holy shit. Basically been scrolling on reddit and playing fortnite on the TV. GOt a big 42 inch as well so getting good use out of it. I have been sleeping on here when I get tired, and doing the deed in the couch pillow. When I am hungry my mum (67F) brings me a plate of some stuff like pies or samwiches, but she’s (67F) not too happy with it. So basically thats the situation, and this kinda all blew up in my face today, when my bff (37F) came back from the England. I was sitting down (as usual) and they just randomly came into my house kinda unnanounced cause we usually leave the door a bit open (safe area). So I kinda go like fuck, and try to get up, but I have been sitting down for a stupidly long time so much so, that I literally cannot get my ass up off of the couch. I try to turn off my fortnite game, but I can’t reach the remote.

Shit, I thought. They start coming upstairs towards the living room. Fuck. I try to pull myself off, but it starts hurting my ass and I am literally stuck to the couch. So I end up just accepting my fate. They enter the doorway, and as soon as they catch a glimpse of me, sourrounded by empty food packets and cans, maybe even a fish skeleton. They stare me in the eyes for a few seconds, and I am just sitting there trying not to start crying. Anyway, they left pretty quickly after that so I was able to keep looting Creeky Compound, but got killed after a few minutes :(

Anyway I’m writing this from my couch. If anyone has any tips for this situation pls help.

TL;DR: I been sitting on my couch for 14 days and disgusted my friend?