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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/starwarsmonkeyz on 2023-07-04 19:38:08+00:00.
Leah has always been one of those people who always wants to be in the spotlight. This never l bothered me as I am quite an introverted person. Anyways skipping to my birthday. We have been planning this party for a long time as I have been really depressed the past couple years and this was my first big gathering with all my friends and family who were also there to support my recovery.
I was sending out the invites and was really excited. We were ordering in pizzas and KFC which are my two absolute favourites. Anyways I tell everyone in the group-chat that we will be ordering this and everyone is excited but then Leah messages and says she “can’t have that” because she is Vegan. She then went on to say it was disrespectful that I wasn’t being inclusive to everyone. In private messages she started going on about how it was really rude of me to not have asked before organising food and that I was “discriminating against her being a vegan” so I got really stressed and didn’t know what to do. I then said I would order her some food separately from a Vegan place and that I would pay and she went quiet.
The day before the party I got a message in the group from her saying “@everyone Can’t wait to catch up with you all this weekend. I have some exciting news of my own I would like to share!” Confused about this, I message her personally and asked what this was about as I didn’t quite understand as to why she had to announce it on MY birthday. It also pissed me off how she was texting the groupchat as if she was the one who was organising the party. We have quite a lot of mutual friends but at the end of the day it was MY GROUPCHAT and she was treating it like it was some mass gathering for her.
Leah said she was “planning on telling everyone about her pregnancy”. I was shocked. Not only did I feel like she was purposefully trying to ruin my birthday but I was even more hurt she didn’t even ask me first. After all it was MY birthday party… I told her I did not want her to announce it on my birthday and that I found it really rude of her to not have asked me first. She then went OFF at me and started complaining about how this was her “only opportunity to do it” as “everyone would be there” and the “timing was so perfect” and that I had “ruined her plan” and that I am a “selfish and bad friend” for not being happy for her. She then said she can do “whatever the f she wants and I can’t stop her from announcing it” I was too stressed that I sent her a text uninviting her to my party and then blocked her. All day I got calls and texts from her family saying I was “selfish and rude” and that I “was narcissistic” and that I was a “bad friend”. They all basically called me am asshole for uninviting her and for being really “mean” to her too. All these texts made me feel really guilty and like an asshole, so here I am reddit… AlTA here?
A person’s birthday party is definitely their own time and it is very rude for someone else to try to do a personal announcement.