Like leafling said, this is pretty good! I like the shortform, dialogue only take on this, very different from most responses which usually describe things in detail. Instead of showing or telling, you let things be and communicate them through the dialogue. It reminds me a lot of how plays are written.
As an aside, I want to comment on something. It feels like the “shadow” was trying to goad the protagonist into killing them from the very beginning. The first line, “Come on, do it” paired with the last line, “I guess you are getting what you want” kind of hint at that. Dunno if that’s what you were intending, but I found that very, very cool.
I kind of wanted it to be ambiguous in that regard, when the part of you with the suicidal ideation becomes its own being, who does it really want dead?
Like leafling said, this is pretty good! I like the shortform, dialogue only take on this, very different from most responses which usually describe things in detail. Instead of showing or telling, you let things be and communicate them through the dialogue. It reminds me a lot of how plays are written.
As an aside, I want to comment on something. It feels like the “shadow” was trying to goad the protagonist into killing them from the very beginning. The first line, “Come on, do it” paired with the last line, “I guess you are getting what you want” kind of hint at that. Dunno if that’s what you were intending, but I found that very, very cool.
I kind of wanted it to be ambiguous in that regard, when the part of you with the suicidal ideation becomes its own being, who does it really want dead?