I like dogs like I like toddlers. It’s fun to hang out with other people’s for a while, but ultimately they’re annoying, loud, and make a mess. I feel like in the past 10 years or so, dog owners have become increasingly convinced that everyone thinks their slobbering, untrained mutt is god’s gift to everyone, and expects everyone to love it unconditionally. Dogs in restaurants. Dogs in stores when you go shopping. “Oh it’s so funny that your dog is jumping on me and getting it’s dirty paws all over me while it tries to sniff my crotch.” “Oh oops! Your dog ate my food off the counter, fucking again. Guess that’s my fault because in this house nothing is safe from the coddled fucking dog.” “Hey man can you watch the dog? It’s really easy, not like it pisses all over the floor and knocks the trash over or anything. We have to leave the house for 2 hours and it has anxiety/depression/borderline personality disorder and he’s a wittle special boy who needs constant attention.”
I’m just tired of it. Nobody gives a goddamn about your stupid dog. Stop bringing your animal to restaurants, it’s disgusting and inconsiderate. It’s not your child, it’s a dog. Dog people have made me hate dogs.
I feel the exact same way with the exact same feedback to parents. I am tired of people’s shitty kids running around, crawling on floors, looking at me in public, screaming and crying for no discernible fucking reason… I think we need to look at building segregated places for parents and animal owners and those of us that are one or the other and not interested in interactions with the opposite side.
Because it’s the internet, I will clarify that this is partially a joke. It’s also partially not a joke. And I apologize as a owner of multiple dogs for the experiences that you were having. That doesn’t sound like something that’s going to make anybodys day any better.
Personally, I keep my dogs at home unless I’m doing something like going hiking or out to the lake or somewhere else that seems like a reasonable place to bring an animal. Certainly not somewhere that’s going to have their hair flying in the air and getting into people’s foods or drinks or anything like that.
Thinking about it, I treated my kid the same way when they were first born…
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