Millions of Americans are gathering today with assorted family and friends — each with their own unique, and potentially problematic, political opinions.

Which means it’s also time for the slew of articles telling people that it’s okay to skip Thanksgiving dinner if you think someone at the table might strongly disagree with your politics — or providing tips on how to steer conversations away from current affairs to lighter topics. The message and general consensus seem to be that we should only talk about politics with people who will support what we already believe.

Most Americans agreed on this approach last year — three-quarters said in a survey that Thanksgiving was not the time nor place to discuss politics with family. More recent polling from State Policy Network, where I am a fellow, shows it’s not just at family gatherings that people are shying away from politics. Over half of voters say they have stopped talking about politics and policy with family and friends generally because it is too divisive.

While Americans don’t seem to like the baggage that comes with getting political information from their friends and family, they also have problems with other sources of information. For example, while 46 percent of voters say they have gotten news from social media in the last three months, just 15 percent have a high degree of trust in it. There is a similar pattern for broadcast news.

  • SuperDuper
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    7 months ago

    This is an absolutely delusional article. People avoid talking politics at Thanksgiving because that’s what ruined previous Thanksgivings. What world does the author live in that they think everyone is suddenly going to be capable of having a calm, reasonable, and productive discussion this Year around?

      • @clearleaf
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        27 months ago

        Maybe they got kicked out from theirs and spent the next 15 minutes angrily writing this article.

    • FuglyDuck
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      107 months ago

      My guess is they were the ones being uncivil and annoying- the axe forgets but the tree remembers

      • BraveSirZaphod
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        37 months ago

        If you’re going to begin holding people accountable for the actions of family that they didn’t choose and don’t even necessarily like, you’re going to have a very hard time attracting many people to your political movement.

  • FuglyDuck
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    237 months ago

    Because of the trust we have in them, our personal relationships can be a conduit for new information and ideas in ways that can break through the commentary and bias of most news sources. Our friends and family can listen and respond to questions, practice empathy, humanize the other side of the debate, tell personal stories that are likely to intersect with our own lives, and see us as individuals with nuanced views and value outside of our political opinions. But that civil and empathetic exchange of ideas only happens if we actually discuss difficult topics with our friends and family and give respect, instead of just expecting it.

    … what a fantastic world the author lives in.

    Civil discourse requires both parties to be civil. bringing up politics is more likely to lead to a fist fight than any change in perspectives.

    Also, the problem here is that the people that tend to disrupt the festivities, are people with whom there’s a lesser degree of trust. That is to say, it’s the uncle you see maybe two times a year, or the aunt you only see at thanksgiving diner. or the cousin you haven seen in a decade. so that trust isn’t there to begin with.

    to be entirely candid with you, it’s best to simply not invite these individuals at all. if seeing them at the holidays is not an obligation one enjoys, it’s perfectly okay to just… not. Because that’s not what a family is.

  • BerührtGras
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    7 months ago

    But I will definitely.I will not disrupt and ruin a nice and peaceful dinner by lecturing everyone at the table for 1 hour so i can feel good about myself.

    • @[email protected]
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      -57 months ago

      I understand and I respect that. I get that Thanksgiving is important to people. But as someone who cares a lot about animals, it’s really hard to see people all eating a turkey as a tradition. I hold my tongue and don’t speak out against it, symbolic day and all, but I feel sadness inside and sometimes it’s hard to prevent that coming out in how I carry myself on the occasion.

      • BerührtGras
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        37 months ago

        I mean, setting a good example to everyone on the table without forcing myself on everyone is fine. I’m vegetarian and dont eat meat. My family respects that and makes me an alternative.

        • @[email protected]
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          7 months ago

          I respect that but it’s still difficult for me to see what everyone else is doing to animals, and that’s even if I don’t get any rude comments from people because of my vegan (plant-based) food.

          Any way forgive me but I feel like every vegetarian deserves to know the truth about the dairy industry: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UcN7SGGoCNI

          And here’s a good video about why I don’t eat eggs either: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7YFz99OT18k

          Happy thanksgiving :)

          • BerührtGras
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            17 months ago

            I know, you dont have to tell me. I was vegan, but I like cheese. Happy thanksgiving to you too.

            • @[email protected]
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              7 months ago

              Oh I see, cheese is very addictive after all (casein turns into casomorphin in the body, which has an opioid effect). Just wondering, have you tried vegan/plant-based cheese? I love it. Does the same job as cheese for me, though I don’t have it that much.

              I personally decided that the ethical and environmental problems, in addition to the health impacts, of animal derived cheese/dairy weren’t worth purchasing and consuming it. But luckily we have products that taste exactly the same, lol.

  • Semi-Hemi-Demigod
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    37 months ago

    I didn’t avoid them and now me, my mom, my aunt, my kid, and my sister are avowed anarchists. Would recommend.

  • hrimfaxi_work
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    37 months ago

    Our friends and family can listen and respond to questions, practice empathy, humanize the other side of the debate, tell personal stories that are likely to intersect with our own lives, and see us as individuals with nuanced views and value outside of our political opinions.

    How many people is this this the case for? My experience and the experience of my friend group might be anomalous, but empathy, humanity, and nuance are not present in my family when it comes to political conversations.

  • @clearleaf
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    27 months ago

    With everyone talking about how much they hate their crazy uncle ranting about politics, I suppose it’s nice to hear the crazy uncle’s side of the story for once.