A classic mistake, you hate to see it. The blade is supposed to be sideways for a slashing motion, if it’s vertical like that it requires a vertical motion that’s just not very ergonomic for the same effect.

I think ideally, you would have some sort of psychologist on staff to lead interviews and then probably either a specific department who only deal with SA cases or maybe if it’s very spread out in rural you could do like a shared scheme state wide, or some thing? They were only deal with SA cases and would be subject to a higher levels of, like, civilian review to make sure they aren’t just ignoring people or sandbagging it, and then I think the civilian review should probably employ their own psychologist to maybe review the interview or maybe conduct a separate interview that way no one just gets dismissed out of hand? And in cases where police are the apparent perpetrators, the case should be kicked up to the FBI(or equivalent, some state/federal police), and still be subject to the civilian review process. Though honestly at this point, I fell like my answer is “simply improve society” and I’m not sure how helpful it is.
As for the feminism thing, I’m gonna be honest, I Rhode Island, a really solid first draft of a reply, and then I noticed a dripping sound in my apartment (it’s been really stormy where I have been lately) so I went to investigate and I found my living room window is leaking water from the top(?!?) of the window so I tabbed out to take a picture to submit for maintenance request (because this is only the second month that I’ve been here and I am not gonna be responsible for water damage, ya know?) and when I came back I had lost my comment because I guess I didn’t post it like I thought I had, so I had to re-write everything down mostly from memory. So I probably meant when you put it around patriarchy up in your original post but I could’ve honestly misremembered and thought you put it around feminism at some point. I’m not sure if the etiquette would be to go back and edit my comment to remove that or to leave it for posterity because you are correct when you called me out on it? So I guess I’ll just leave it?
I agree that it’s hard to talk about these things without being lumped together with the worst of your respective sides degenerates, there are rabid misogynists and misandrists both. I think the best thing we can do is to make sure our feedback is constructive instead of destructive, and to be careful and considerate when having discourse on the subject (something I have apparently failed to do, considering my many mistakes in this discussion(and isn’t that super interesting, I actually kind of feel less embarrassed by my mistakes because I feel this is a discussion rather than an argument)). And as for extremism, I think it’s a very human reaction for society to, like, swing back-and-forth a few times before finding a happy medium and so I think society just hasn’t caught up with stuff like this. In my opinion, there are good indicators that we’re moving towards that, like the statistics on how Men are changing diapers at greater rates as opposed to in the 60s and 70s, and all those memes about how dads can’t repair stuff but at least can hug their kids, etc., but I’m not sure how one would really help it along. Maybe get groups together to write big bills on men’s and women’s issues, call them human rights reform bills, and lobby for them collectively? Otherwise I think all we can do is 1: our best, and 2:wait for society to catch up

I don’t mean it’s morally correct, but practically, I don’t think it’s bad advice to tell people to be worried about false accusations, and that they should probably only sleep with people that they trust. I am a big “only date friends” person, but I acknowledge that that’s a minority view, and that strangers date all the time and it works out.
I’m saying those statistics already exist and they’re pretty grim. At least in the US those statistics are put out by the DOJ, I just wasn’t able to find one recently enough that I’d want to cite it(I don’t think it doesn’t exist, I think it’s user error lol)
I agree with everything you said about not conforming to gender roles. I think we really should start approaching interactions, thinking “this is a human, this is a person” and moving away from the binaries. Ya know, egalitarianism.
As for the police (at least in America I honestly think that if we fired all police unions and completely rehired new people, it would help a lot of things but that’s probably a different discussion), they probably need to employ more psychologist and specialists, because police already don’t do a great job with existing sexual assault cases so having someone who is able to suss out whether someone’s lying, without being an insensitive jerk to a victim would be good. The way I see it there is a bit of a cycle where police do a bad job or worse, are dismissive. Therefore, the perpetrator isn’t caught and punished. Therefore, there are more bad apples out there, repeat offenders, etc., and statistics go up and trust goes down.
So I as for my charge of mild condescension; the impression I got was “you need advice, so here’s advice” and not “do you need advice? If so, here’s advice”. You acknowledge later in the OP that not everyone reading it will need the advice, and I just think with some changes you wouldn’t’ve had to make that clarification, and it would’ve come off less strong. Maybe if the advice stuff was its own thread instead of mixed in here, I would feel different I think? Also, putting feminism in scare quotes isn’t great because the people who usually do that are the people who are mostly in it for hating women so people sort of will just lump you together with them because the human brain is lazy and it likes simple categories so it doesn’t have to think hard.
Overall, you seem like a solid dude who genuinely wants to have a discussion on this. I think I’m used to much more toxic spaces on this and so I probably pushed back too hard, so you shouldn’t let me get you down

So I went back and reread all the stuff that you wrote, and I guess maybe combative isn’t the right word, maybe a little callous? It just feels like you’re being very dismissive of very real potential trauma. I’ve seen how it just kind of destroys any hope for any normal future relationship in a person. So I personally don’t think it’s wild for women to want to protect themselves even if that means it is harder to date.
I don’t know if this whole situation is something someone can individually solve, more of a societal push for things like reducing rape kit backlogs, improving statistics for women killed by an intimate partners and pregnant women killed by partners, and as you say the smaller percentage of rapists and murderers, serial or otherwise. I think if we could take a lot of the fear out of the interactions things would go better, but there’s not a lot of trust that if something goes bad, police will help in really any way, you’re kind of on your own you know? So it’s safer to be cautious, especially on the first meet.
I think a lot of your original post has some decent dating advice, if a little patronizing, I would point a teenager at it as decent advice, and would definitely emphasize shared hobbies. Hobbies are great for meeting new friends.
It occurs to me that a lot of my argument is America centric. And assuming you are also America centric and that might not be the case so I think it’s fair to call his whole thing a side discussion.
As to the your original question, I have zero problem with sex work even though it’s not currently legal where I am. I believe it is better to legalize and regulate sex work. And I don’t think it’s wrong for people to employ some sexual services, even regularly. There are people who can’t or won’t date or marry and they should still have the opportunity to have sex. I’m pretty sure it’s in Denmark they actually give handicap people a stipend for it because just because you’re in a wheelchair doesn’t mean you don’t want to have sex.

I think a good solution for something like this would be a closed loop system that pumps heat underground. Like passive cooling but on a grander scale and probably much deeper underground. So maybe more like reverse geothermal?

“Sure safety is important, but what about my feelings?” “Make sure to give your friends your murderers description” “A man, who can be the same size and mass as you, but will statistically will be stronger than you, tries to take you somewhere private? Simply tell them no” “Worried you’ll be raped? Simply record it.” I acknowledge these are not literally the words that you said, but I want you to know, as a fellow man, reading what you said gave me this impression. You’re coming at this issue way too combatively. I get that we’re all horny and that sex is good and fun and we like to have it, and you’re not gonna calm down when I tell you to calm down but you need to chill about it a little bit. Or don’t you’re a person who can make your own decisions.
Added after: Also stalking exists and police usually don’t do anything until it’s too late

This is very funny but my brain went straight to: babies are only so under developed because evolution has done us dirty so far with the human hips, if the centaur mother can pass the horse part obviously the human part can be more fully developed

Oh my, I’m actually so embarrassed. I swear I thought I followed a notification to the comment, but I totally didn’t it isn’t in my notifications, that makes sooo much more sense bleh

Edit: So I’m leaving what I said just cause I feel like you gotta own up to your mistakes, but this is an editing note that I was in the wrong with this specific comment, and I was the dummy actually responding to the wrong person🫠

That’s not what I said though? I have the option to opt in other people have the option to opt out and we can all be here. That is what I was trying to say to someone who, in my opinion, seemed to be saying “no, there is a different place for that, go there for that”. Given bug fixes, proper moderation, and users marking content correctly there’s no reason we cannot coexist here. The person I was responding to was saying I should start a lemmy account on a nsfw instance for nsfw content which seems much more akin to what you appear to be implying that I am saying. I want the bug to eventually be fixed and am in disagreement with people who appear to be saying “good, I like it that way, no fix needed”, people who, in fact, are disagreeing with you specifically given you are the OP

To my knowledge, currently kbin.social federates with all instances. Therefore on this instance kbin.social, where I have opted in to nsfw, I would like nsfw to organically show up on my All. If it isn’t showing up because no one is making any then that is fine, if it is being made and isn’t showing up despite me having opted in that is not fine and I will patiently wait until it is fixed. And just for the record, I have and would encourage everyone else to buy Ernest a coffee https://www.buymeacoffee.com/kbin

I think the exact opposite; all instances are interconnected, so I don’t need multiple accounts, I can subscribe from here and have it served here. Since I have opted in, I would like to have nsfw come up organically on my All and I don’t think it’s unreasonable as this instance, @kbin.social, allows nsfw. Maybe I’m the weird one, but I don’t want a normal account and some… turboporn account, I just want occasional tits, ass, and dick to show up in my normal feed

(Assuming this bug is fixed and people are properly marking nsfw) Then they should opt out of showing nsfw so it doesn’t show up for them instead of preventing me from getting it served to me here where I have opted in. I would like the ability to organically find communities as they show up on All instead of specifically searching

If your solution is to go to a different website instead of subscribing from here and having it served to me here, then what is the point of federation? (Just to clarify I totally understand why people wouldn’t want to be served nsfw when they didn’t opt into it and I don’t mind a bit of an overcorrection for the meantime. I know kbin blew up fast and this can be an expected growing pain that will eventually be worked out)

I also use KeePassium XC on my desktop and go r mobile I use an app called KeePassium. I just have them pointed at the file in my Google Drive.

It’s not about the 3rd party apps, it’s about sending a message.jpg

It obviously depends on the exchange rate. Everyone knows feathers are up right now, so the answer right now (14Jun2023) is feathers

If you’re into open world sandbox RPGs, you can’t get more open world sandboxy than Kenshi! It’s all third person point of view and you sort of manage a whole squad opposed to a single person. There is a whole base building mechanic, there’s a tech tree that you can research through, you can create and sell your own weapons, you can do you trading runs in between cities, you could be a lone Ronin wandering the desert sands, or a religious zealot being a xenophobic jerk who hate robot people (there are robot people), aliens (mhmm, them too) and women (ofc)! The possibilities are endless, especially since there’s no actual storyline! Oh, there’s a bunch of little Easter eggs about how the world (def not Earth, too many moons) got to this point but you’re not gonna spawn in a dungeon being pointed at the big bad (is the slave start in Rebirth canon? I have so many mods I’ve forgotten) you’re probably just gonna appear in the middle of the canyon, and then make the mistake of fighting goats, but the goats are stronger than you, so they beat you into unconsciousness, and while you’re lying there, waiting to become conscious once more some bandits rob you and a slaver comes by and picks you up and sells you into slavery. It’s a good time I promise. Oh, but be warned, there’s a lot of skills and it’s kind of grindy, a little like a single player MMO. It’s great and I love it.

I’ve been thinking since after the AMA, it would have to be more than “we’re walking back most of the pricing to something reasonable”, it has to include Steve Huffman resigning.