Didn’t know Simon Stone was also a pen name for Nasser.

Billionaire invests his money in company that is openly about to receive a big investment, potentially leading to share prices increasing. What a mental twist.

Imagine if our forwards ever start scoring, what’s possible?

Hit the crossbar but what’s the ref stopping it for anyway? Fuck me.

Cancel football. No point any more. Kick a ball at an arm from point blank you get a penalty. What’s the point?

Oh look, refs have ONCE AGAIN had a direct impact on the outcome of a game. Surprised?

Hahaha that cross is more like a proper AWB cross.

News just in: United are shit. In other news, sky is blue. More at 10.

Roman’s Chelsea? Doing dodgy deals?

Never would have seen it coming, he’s such a shining beacon of morality.

Fuck me, please don’t take off Hojlund for Martial again. We’re always worse.

Fuck me, Colin’s at it again.