This August is only half through,

But for some, winter’s soon to ensue

So don’t Grinch on this carol,

’Cause we know in the Barrel:

Crackers love their Christmas Scooby-Doo!

Zorque is envied by every gent,

’Cause it’s fab when he pitches a tent

Every saint and sinner

Can each be a winner

When his dick’s in the beauty pageant

Now that Reddit’s been made obsolete,

Our new usernames can be discreet

So, make your name right

The future looks bright

For Sweatyfartz and weinermeat

Unbrowned steaks are surely regretted,

But Froyn just likes their meat wetted

So, both in kitchen and bed,

The same can be said:

Their wife just hates their forking method

Headed down to the pub for a beer

At the rainbows, recoiled in fear

”A parade just for pride

*Of bright colours?” he cried.

”There are too many gay people here!”

The caprines were eating their oats,

When this furball snapped right at their throats

Dogs won’t need to be taught

When you’ve already got

A little raccoon for herding goats

We’d all love more Lemmies in the banks,

So any ol’ content gets thanks

And we’ll yet raise a toast

To this weird old repost

'Bout a bug penis shooting all blanks

The Crow cawed that Lemmy is strong,

Since no kids have yet come along

But the teens disagree

All ages’ve stupidity

I think you spelled idiots wrong

Variden was once a great mod,

‘Til Reddit admins turned fraud

So to Lemmy we’ll scoot,

Than be under Spez’ boot

Of his own hell he can be god