Okay, that’s fair. You confused a hornets’ nest with a glory hole, and now you’re feeling a bit sore. Yeah, that tracks.

Hey! I’m trying to dissociate over here! I’d appreciate it if you didn’t shine the light of objective reality on my situation.

Wrathful grapes, even.

Begrudging upvote for the unpopular opinion.

Did you get nachos from a vending machine in a rural, Midwestern, gas station bathroom? I’m trying to imagine the food crime you experienced, but I’ve had 7-Eleven nachos better than described. Who hurt you?

Household “at risk” as kitchen fire engulfs top floor.

“Life Swap” I like it.

Host: “Today on Life Swap, we check back in with the Waltons, who are now working as associates in one of their rural Mississippi stores.”

Walton #3: [collapses]

Team Lead Kenny: [pokes Walton #3 with a stick] “Get up! We need this zone stocked asap!”

Walton #3: [unmoving]

Team Lead Kenny: “Sorry, man. This is like your third write-up this month. I’m gonna have to ask for your badge and vest.”

Walton #3: [quivering slightly]

Host: “Whoops! Looks like Walton #3 is fired for gross negligence and insubordination! Stay tuned next week when they load paving stones into their customers’ vehicles during a humid Mississippi heat wave without water breaks!”

Is that called being a “vocel?”

Also known as “thugling”

Not what I was going for, but arguably funnier.

I would add “#BlueLivesMatter” at the end, though.

I think it just needs a comma in the middle.

Article that doesn’t require an email address:

https://thehill.com/opinion/criminal-justice/5224229-trump-makes-history-by-pardoning-a-corporation/

By the way, guess which company is involved with Melania Coin.

What are the chances a penguin bit him as he was trying to harass it, and this is the resultant tantrum?

One funny aspect is that it doesn’t affect the penguins. Not just because they’re penguins and would only blink, squawk, and flutter their wings if one tried to tax them, but more importantly, because we have zero trade with them.

“Sir, we’re seeing no revenue from the penguin tarrif!”

“What’s the current rate?”

“It’s already at 250 percent!”

“Very well, then. Raise it to 25,000%. We’ll teach those penguins a lesson in math they’ll never forget!”

This actually makes slightly more sense, because we might actually send things to Mars.

“The USDA’s speech regarding its employees, policies and agenda must be free. So stop harassing and slandering them.”

I’m just guessing here.

Amen. This is also me if raises don’t exceed inflation this year:

https://youtu.be/1q82twrdr0U

I have this one for sale:

It’s not great for the regular 9-to-5, but it’s pretty handy for after-hours stuff.

It is hard to have a “better or worse” conversation" about something subjective, like an element of art.

For what it’s worth, I like that version a lot more than the Travis or Ford ones. Thanks for sharing it.

We may not agree on everything, but I support you. Let us seize the means of production together first. Afterward, we can sort out the details of our views on moderate conservatism.