I think you have answered a lot of your questions pretty well on your own. I agree that narcissism is a very different thing, but I think peoplehave that mental model when they see someone talking positively about themselves in a public way and so if they see something that looks like that automatically want to put you in a box.
I think you make the case very well for how the way that you were acting publicly reflects a sincere need that you have and one that you shouldn’t feel bad for having especially if it is helping you to outweigh your RSD.
I agree with what others have said here about making sure that you are engaging in those activities with people whom you can trust and who will be receptive to that kind of thing because it is OK for you to seek validation to a certain point and if someone is going make you feel bad about that then they are really not good for you.
I think it’s also important to share these thoughts with someone whom you can trust and you know in the real world because after all, we’re just a bunch of Internet people and maybe we don’t know the nuances of who you are and who these people are who are treating negatively and someone who knows you in real life could maybe help you a little better than we could
I agree but I wouldn’t even say this is narcissism. Narcissism doesn’t mean you do good things for yourself or take care of yourself and so on. That’s just having a healthy self esteem.