The line in this instance is to not use defederation as a political tool, and that is IMO correct
That doesn’t really mean anything imo. Not defederating is just as much a political decision as defederating is. There’s no way around taking some sort of stance, intentional or not.
Well you could start by not calling her attempts to make advances “childish”. In those instances when she does her advances, how exactly are you communicating with her? How do you react, what do you tell her?
If she’s genuinely trying to be affectionate with you but gets shut down, it’s not hard to see why she wouldn’t be partiularly into it. So it definitely would be a good idea to find out how she feels about your reactions to her advances.