I don’t think it counts as a fetish if it’s a common thing to be attracted to

I had a smartwatch that had a very annoyingly buzzy vibration, so I empathize with this problem. If nothing else works I do believe that some expensive smartwatches (like apple watch) have a more quiet “tappy” vibration. You could test in store to see how loud the sound is before buying it

love your enthusiasm for your wife ☺️ but they probably meant pathological demand avoidance (PDA)