I’m a teacher as well as a student, and while homework is something I dread, I absolutely recognize how it challenges me to demonstrate that I really have absorbed the content. Sometimes I give myself extra homework if I realize I’m struggling to retain a concept. I’m just going to keep doing that one thing until it’s natural.

I prefer to have a textbook to work through if I’m self studying. I want a sense of units finished, progress made, and I want it to be quantifiable as a course. Like, I choose the test I want to pass and get the official book for that, work through the material (supplementing with online resources) and then take the test when I’m done.

I also made an office space I really enjoy being in, and I almost never let myself just be at leisure in there. If I want to hang in the warm, cozy room, I’m going to be studying or producing something.

If they’re venting and don’t want advice, just show fellow feeling.

• man that blows
• why would they think that’s a good idea?!
• they’re such dicks
• how did they think you were going to react?!
• etc. You can also ask questions to help the person unload more, or to understand what’s made them so mad they need to vent. You’re not trying to fix a problem. You’re trying to help your friend scream into the void and feel heard and supported. Especially if they don’t feel heard at the source of their problem.

For me, one reason that I get frustrated with advisors is that they offer level one of advice when I’ve already tried levels one - three hundred of solutions. I feel slightly condescended to, and then I have to tactfully explain why their solution isn’t feasible. Then I end up feeling like a dick for shooting down their help. Or, I can nod, smile, say thanks, that’s a good idea, and walk away still feeling unheard and misunderstood.