I’ve had two different arch based distros have issues when trying to update after long periods. I also had an Ubuntu server fail completely when doing a major version upgrade and had to restore it from backup. But then again I’ve also had no trouble updating an Ubuntu machine that was a couple years behind.
I’m on Fedora now for my desktop and it’s been great so far, but I also do updates at least weekly. My advice would be if you expect to go months between updates your best choice is probably Debian.
As someone who does hit the gym, in my experience the majority of people you’re impressing with your physique are men. Sure I’d say most women like it if you have it (assuming you aren’t too big), but generalising that it’s the main attraction would be a mistake.