Title and image source from this Mastodon toot by [email protected]. I even took the damn title because I couldn’t think of anything more apt.

As always, respect my trans homies or I make your pronouns was/were.

  • @[email protected]
    link
    fedilink
    English
    25 months ago

    Wat

    Most of the negativity felt by those trans guys and the cis guy OP came from “woman bad.”

    What?? That doesn’t make any sense. How is “men bad” actually just “women bad”??

    Or are you just chiming in with a totally unrelated point about how women also have it bad in society? If so, I agree, but I don’t see the relevance.

    • @[email protected]
      link
      fedilink
      English
      95 months ago

      I think there are two similar but different points being made by both of yall

      The other commenter is referring to when a man is insulted by being called “not manly” which has the subtext of “feminine bad”

      And you’re seemingly talking about when someone is called masculine, but use subtext to insinuate that it’s a bad thing.

      Both can be hurtful to a man, and one is directly tied to sexism against women. I’d argue both are caused by biases pushed by patriarchal ideals. So similar ideas but a bit different

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        English
        35 months ago

        I thought I was pretty clearly talking about society calling masculinity bad, so I don’t understand what prompted that response. Maybe I wasn’t clear enough.

        • @[email protected]
          link
          fedilink
          English
          55 months ago

          His point is that “man bad” only happens because we did “women bad” for millennia. We spent so long hating on women that,to get to equality, we need to swing the other way for a bit.

          But rest assured, men are already very much valued in society. That’s why everything is tailored towards us and we make more money for doing the same shit. You probably don’t notice it though, because it’s just “how things are”.

          • @Mouselemming
            link
            English
            65 months ago

            You got my point, and also exemplify it, by saying “his point.” We’re all guys here on Lemmy, right, that’s just how things are, eh? (Tbf, I landed in here from All. But that’s the sneaky thing about women: we’re everywhere!)

            • @[email protected]
              link
              fedilink
              English
              45 months ago

              “there’s literally dozens of us!”

              But sorry about that. I’m still working on degendering my default speech.

          • @[email protected]
            link
            fedilink
            English
            25 months ago

            I don’t think we need to swing the other way. An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

            Can’t we just strive for equality?

            • @[email protected]
              link
              fedilink
              English
              55 months ago

              No, and that’s very silly.

              Let’s lay someone slapped you in the face everyday for a week. Could you turn around and simply forgive? Not press charges, not yell at them, just simply forgive. I know I would struggle to do it. And that’s just my face for 7 days, not an entire lifetime of being pushed around.

              You’re expecting 50% of the population to have Jesus levels of forgiveness. That is very silly.

              • @[email protected]
                link
                fedilink
                English
                55 months ago

                It’s something to aspire to. I’m not demanding they forgive. I’m asking they try not to become the thing they hate.

                And for the record I don’t think we’re in much danger of that. Women are not in power in the world. The world is still mostly controlled by men, and most of the women who are in power don’t seem concerned with punishing men for the sins of their fathers.

                But it is a dangerous and toxic mindset for anyone to have.

                • @[email protected]
                  link
                  fedilink
                  English
                  15 months ago

                  Is it though? Is it dangerous for a rape victim to be like “men suck”? That doesn’t seem dangerous to me in any way. Just seems like a reasonable response to a hard life.

                  That’d account for like 20% of all women if you give those people a pass.

                  • @[email protected]
                    link
                    fedilink
                    English
                    15 months ago

                    No raindrop believes it’s responsible for the flood. In aggregate, these viewpoints are dangerous. I remember seeing it happen in real time on the original red pill subreddit…must have been 10 years ago. For a long time, men would come there, men who had been hurt by women. For a while, there was balance, there was a community of men to help them work through their feelings of anger and resentment. But it became too much, there were just too many angry men, and we all know what happened to it.

    • @Mouselemming
      link
      English
      95 months ago

      I didn’t mean to negate your whole point, more like “welcome to the club.”

      Trans men and cis men with feminine attributes face lowered status and abuse because female=less. Trans men face a different kind of abuse because they are seen as trying to assert their membership in the “superior” group. This is all in addition to the abuse they all face for simply being other than the “norm”.

      There’s definitely a smattering of full-on “man bad” out there, but don’t mistake “that man bad” or “patriarchy bad” for “all men bad” or “manliness bad” (assuming it’s a healthy manliness and not toxic masculinity).

      Society is still pretty tipped in favor of men, just look at car safety tests and medicine trials, both of which routinely exclude women entirely.

      • @[email protected]
        link
        fedilink
        English
        75 months ago

        Ah, okay, that makes sense. Sorry, I just assumed you were refuting my point. I agree with everything you’re saying. A lot of times whenever someone brings up male struggles, someone chimes in with “we shouldn’t worry about this because women have it worse”, so I might be a bit overly sensitive.

        • @Mouselemming
          link
          English
          45 months ago

          That’s okay, I totally get that. It often happened (perhaps still is, haven’t been there in awhile) in Reddit 2X that a thread about a woman’s problem would be brigaded by men saying they had it worse, overwhelming the initial discussion because of their greater numbers. I certainly don’t mean to do that, even if we did have the numbers.