cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/16725859

Rule

Alt text: a text post that reads: Work in retail long enough, and you’ll eventually realize the rules for dealing with Customers are exactly the same as dealing with the Fae:

  • Avoid eye contact.
  • Never reveal your full name.
  • Accept nothing They offer you.
  • Never verbally agree or disagree with anything They might happen to say.
  • To apologize is to acknowledge a debt owed.
  • Under no circumstances are you ever to thank Them.
  • Remember that They are incapable of reading signs in human languages.
  • @[email protected]
    50•9 days ago

    I’m trying to come up with a dialogue that follows these rules, but it gets weird fast.

    You ghoulishly sloush around the aisles, avoiding eye contact at all cost, but still a customer talks to you:

    C: “Hi, excuse me. I’m looking for tomatoes.”

    You: “We are out for today.”

    C: “Oh, that’s unfortunate.”

    You: “” (still avoiding eye contact)

    C: “Well, how about I come back tomorrow?”

    You: “There will be a new shipment of tomatoes by tomorrow.”

    C: “Okay, great! Then I just come back tomorrow?”

    You: “If you come back tomorrow, there will be a new shipment of tomatoes.”

    C: “Are you alright?”

    Avoiding eye contact, you silently slither away.

    • @activ8rEnglish
      28•9 days ago

      Uh-huh. What’s wrong with that? Seems perfect.

    • RandomLegendEnglish
      21•9 days ago

      Describes my typical retail experience, i wouldn’t call that weird at all :D

    • @[email protected]English
      13•9 days ago

      I don’t know why, but I can only read this in a robot-like monotone way. Which makes it so much better.