I know it sounds trite and a good candidate for thanksimcured, but essentially, yes. It is not reality that is causing your anxiety but your perception of it, and you have some degree of control over that.
One thing that can tangibly help is to lay out the consequences of inaction. Just knowing the worst case (among likely outcomes) can help reduce anxiety substantially. Then assess how much control you have in addressing the problem and getting a better outcome, and how much effort that will cost you vs the consequences.
A lot of anxiety comes from the unknown. We may not be able to completely unmask the unknown, but we can often estimate the consequences. For example:
climate change
worst case: weather patterns will get worse, and life in 50-ish years may totally suck
options to mitigate problems: move, make more money to afford more mitigations
control over preventing the problems: vote, reduce own consumption (minimal impact)
job loss
worst case: can’t afford rent or food, so homelessness possible
options to mitigate problems: expand circle of friends (more couches to surf), save up cash, get a side gig or two to fall back on
control over preventing the problem: work for a stable company, improve skills
break up w/ SO
worst case: heartbreak, possible depression, ugly breakup could also hurt financially
options to mitigate problems: separate expenses, keep contact w/ friends, practice healthy behaviors (exercise, engaging hobbies, etc)
control over preventing the problem - open dialogue, go on regular dates w/ SO, ask friends for warning signs
And so on. If you can identify the worst case scenarios and your options, it’s a lot easier to manage anxiety. Doing that can be uncomfortable, but it’s basically what a therapist will do with you, so it’s a great skill to learn.
This is a great technique, usually referred to as negative visualisation. Epictetus put it like this:
Hold death and exile and all that seems dreadful before your eyes every day, but most of all death: and you will never think of anything bad or desire anything too much.
Quite the opposite. It lets you forget the unimportant things and the constant realization that your time on this earth is finite will drive you to live life to the fullest.
I don’t do it on purpose but I find myself comparing my problems to death fairly regularly and death doesn’t always seem much worse. The fact that my time is limited and I have to spend so much of it just making the money I need to survive doesn’t help.
I don’t have all the answers, and if budget allows it maybe you should talk to someone about that. That said there were times where waking up disappointed me and the following has changed me. There is another stoic attitude that says something like suppose you have died and you find yourself at the pearly gates. Peter decides you’re not done yet and he’s sent you back. That’s you today. The rest of your days are just gravy.
Love this. Could I actually copy this to wtdiycat.vercel.app (work in progress) with attribution to your username and a link to this comment? Not sure where exactly I’d put it yet though. Edit: probably the “Check the Facts” skill, I always sucked at that one and I think that’s why this explanation really struck me as helpful.
Same. I got rid of anxious thoughts because I had more important stuff to deal with. When there is nothing that you need to do, this simultaneously means that you need to do everything. Of course deciding to drop the things you (and the rest of the world) deem beneficial is hard, but that’s what you have to do.
I know it sounds trite and a good candidate for thanksimcured, but essentially, yes. It is not reality that is causing your anxiety but your perception of it, and you have some degree of control over that.
One thing that can tangibly help is to lay out the consequences of inaction. Just knowing the worst case (among likely outcomes) can help reduce anxiety substantially. Then assess how much control you have in addressing the problem and getting a better outcome, and how much effort that will cost you vs the consequences.
A lot of anxiety comes from the unknown. We may not be able to completely unmask the unknown, but we can often estimate the consequences. For example:
And so on. If you can identify the worst case scenarios and your options, it’s a lot easier to manage anxiety. Doing that can be uncomfortable, but it’s basically what a therapist will do with you, so it’s a great skill to learn.
This is a great technique, usually referred to as negative visualisation. Epictetus put it like this:
Hold death and exile and all that seems dreadful before your eyes every day, but most of all death: and you will never think of anything bad or desire anything too much.
Memento mori.
Sounds like a good way to develop a suicidal ideation problem.
Quite the opposite. It lets you forget the unimportant things and the constant realization that your time on this earth is finite will drive you to live life to the fullest.
I don’t do it on purpose but I find myself comparing my problems to death fairly regularly and death doesn’t always seem much worse. The fact that my time is limited and I have to spend so much of it just making the money I need to survive doesn’t help.
I don’t have all the answers, and if budget allows it maybe you should talk to someone about that. That said there were times where waking up disappointed me and the following has changed me. There is another stoic attitude that says something like suppose you have died and you find yourself at the pearly gates. Peter decides you’re not done yet and he’s sent you back. That’s you today. The rest of your days are just gravy.
Love this. Could I actually copy this to wtdiycat.vercel.app (work in progress) with attribution to your username and a link to this comment? Not sure where exactly I’d put it yet though. Edit: probably the “Check the Facts” skill, I always sucked at that one and I think that’s why this explanation really struck me as helpful.
Sure, knock yourself out. :)
Same. I got rid of anxious thoughts because I had more important stuff to deal with. When there is nothing that you need to do, this simultaneously means that you need to do everything. Of course deciding to drop the things you (and the rest of the world) deem beneficial is hard, but that’s what you have to do.