…ideally one that was both genuine and that you had the confidence and self awareness to interpret as kind. And for bonus points, what’s one you’ve given?

I’m thinking back to the guy in group therapy years ago who told me he always thought of people who swore as not knowing any better words, but that I obviously knew better words and just also swore and even used them artistically and that’s just really stuck with me. Sometimes I wonder how much of my self esteem has suffered not just because I’ve been told not to brag, but also because I’m extremely weird so the compliments I do receive often reflect that.

My bonus one (and I’m not sure how well he was able to take it) was that one of my fellow psych nurses was frequently and obviously terrified any time shit hit the fan, but that somehow still he’d never once failed to have my back. He’d be stuttering the whole way through an incident but I’d walk out of the med room with both halves of a B52 and he’d take one of the syringes without a second thought. He was literally the epitome of “courage isn’t not being scared, it’s being willing to face it.” I should find a nice presentation of that quote somewhere to send him because I’m not sure I phrased it well at the time.

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    1 month ago

    A decade ago, I was walking a few blocks to get a burger, passed by a bar with an outdoor section.

    A fairly sloshed guy stared me up and down, looked at his female friend, back at me and asked “Hey, are you trisexual?”

    Being extremely awkward, significantly autistic, and apparently sufficiently twink, I responded “…sure?”

    Guy got up and kissed me on the cheek.

    I told him to have a nice night and went to get my burger.

    So… yeah. That was the night I discovered what a ‘twink’ is, that I am apparently a twink, and explains all the times I’ve been catcalled by other dudes.

    A shame that I am (basically) straight and only seem to date women who cheat on me or have immense mental health problems.